And Thou Shalt Not
by beautiful innuendo
Summary: I tried contacting her in the following days and months. I was never replied to. In fact, she never took the letters. Seven months after she left Hogwarts and I, a letter did come. It was a copy of a muggle birth certificate...COMPLETE
1. Rememberance

And Thou Shalt Not: A Question of Right or Wrong  
(p.s. I don't own anything you recognize)

"Good morning, Severus. What brings you here?" Dumbledore asked, peering over his half moon spectacles.

"I was just wondering about the new change to the faculty this year." I said, putting my fist onto Albus' desk with a thud.

"Control yourself, man. You know why I did it." He remained calm and looked into my eyes, managing to keep the twinkle down.

"I know, but, couldn't you have had Potter do it, or I would have settled for Longbottom with me." Anyone but her.

"Miss Granger is the best for you. Wouldn't Potter's best friend be the most ironic spy? Voldemort must think that she has gone over to the dark side. Since you are currently on the dark side, you are the best known person to do so."

"She's only what, 16?" I tried to sound incredulous.

"You mind wanders, Severus, you know as well as I do that she graduated six years ago last May. She currently lives in London working at the apothecary in Diagon Alley. You know the new one, Granger and Weasley?"

"Yes, I know. I saw her there when I went. It really is a brilliant little shop, had the finest selection of Boomslang skin I've seen in a long time. And Bill was very knowledgeable."

"Any who, lemon drop?" Professor Dumbledore offered a muggle sweet to me. I finally slumped down into one of the armchairs to listen to him.

"But really, Albus, Hermione Granger? She's a mess. I hope she isn't as know at all and buck toothed and bushy haired, although my luck she is."

"You must have seen her if you went into Granger and Weasley." Albus sucked on his lemon drop, his face puckering on the sour candy.

"To tell you the truth, I just saw her from a little way off. I was not paying attention." Not paying attention to her? That's likely. I only know that she could probably hear my heart beating from where she stood behind the counter.

"Well, I believe that you will be fondly surprised." he chuckled.

"Surprised, Albus?" I acted distrustful of his appraisal.

"Yes. I believe Miss Granger has become very pretty."

"Yes, when she sprouts wings and Peeves stops being a nuisance."

"I think that he's been quite good lately."

"Oh, please. Stop now. At least I'm not going to have to share chambers with her." I said more to myself than to Albus.

"Oh, yes you are. Very sorry, Sevvie, but you are going to have to pretend that you and she are very close indeed." Albus chuckled again, looking at the horrified man sitting in front of him.

"Please refrain from calling me Sevvie." I screwed up my face into what I hoped was anger.

Albus was quiet for a moment, completive. Then he spoke: "You know that if there was anyone else available to do this, I would do it."

This hit me with a clash. I missed her, I genuinely missed her. "How is she, really?"

"I believe you will find her much altered." He said, the hard lines on his face relaxing into mere creases with his sadness.

"What has she been doing?" I tried to act casual.

"The usual. Getting married. Reproducing. Working, the like." Albus said, trying to act casually as well.

"I saw the ring." I stayed at the shop for three minutes and thirty-eight seconds after seeing the band of gold on her left hand. "Weasley, eh? Always thought either he or Potter would marry her."

"How many times have you seen Hermione since…" He trailed off.

"Just the once, in the shop." It took all my courage to go in, even just that once. I don't know if she even saw me. She wouldn't have wanted to.

"It wasn't Ronald that she married. It was Bill." Albus informed me.

"Oh." I remembered Bill Weasley from some of my earlier classes. He was the eldest of Molly and Arthur Weasley and by far the smartest, most hard-working and the most talented of the bunch. Worthy, as much as I hate to say it, of Hermione's mind.

"She's also a mother. A daughter by the name of Mairwen, I believe."

"No. It can't be."

_"Severus?" Hermione whispered to me under the cloak of night in my bedroom. It was just before September 1, when the term started. Hermione had graduated the year before this past one._

_"Love?" I asked, opening my eyes to look at her._

_"I'm pregnant." she let loose a huge sigh that she must have been holding in for a while. _

_"Pregnant?" I sat up straight in the bed, the sheets falling to my lap. _

_"I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't mean to." A bit of moonlight caught her face and it was glistening with tears. _

_"You know you have to leave, Hermione." I said, my voice coming out of my throat far different than what I wanted. I wanted to sound gentle and comforting, but instead I sounded harsh and unforgiving._

_"I wouldn't." she cried harder._

_"You have to. I wouldn't let you stay. It's far too dangerous, Hermione. You know that you should have taken care of the potion. If you would have, we wouldn't be in this place." I leapt from the bed and began pacing the floor._

_"Fine. You don't want me, you don't want our child. Have it your way." I would have expected her to look silly screaming at me naked, her belly just barely rounding, but she didn't. I was terrified of her._

I tried contacting her in the following days and months. I was never replied to. In fact, she never took the letters. Seven months after she left Hogwarts and I, a letter did come. It was a copy of a muggle birth certificate, made out to Mairwen Elizabeth Granger. Mother: Hermione Jane Granger. Father: Severus Raphael Snape. Mairwen Elizabeth Granger was born April 23 at 11:13 am, at 6 pounds, 3 ounces, 19 inches long.

"And she's coming to Hogwarts to spy for the Order?" I gulped down my fear when I said this.

"Yes." Albus said simply. I stood suddenly, looking around for an exit when I knew exactly where it was. "Severus?"

"Yes?" I stood taller and straightened my teaching robes.

"She'll be here this afternoon at four o'clock."

"And she'll be living with me? What about Mair-I mean, the child."

"Mairwen will be safe in Oxfordshire with The Weasleys at the Burrow. Bill has arranged to be 'away' on business in Egypt as a cover story. Percy, one of the younger Weasleys and his wife Penelope, formerly Penelope Clearwater, will be managing the apothecary shop. It's all taken care of, Severus. She will be here at four."

"That's only seven hours." I muttered, sweeping from the office and down the stairs. I practically flew down the stairs and out past the gargoyle. I followed the labyrinthine corridors and staircases to the dungeons. I stopped at an ancient suit of armor and muttered the password to let me into my rooms.

Mairwen_."_

I shuddered as I entered my bedroom from the living room. It seemed the same, save which clothes were draped over the chair and what knick-knacks were on top of my bureau, as the night she had spirited out of Hogwarts, never to be heard from again. Well, I never heard from her again, at least.

And now, after almost five years since she left, she was returning.

"Maybe I have been here before  
I know this room, I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
Love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"  
-Rufus Wainwright


	2. The Homecoming

"Per'fesser Snape?" I looked behind me as I walked down by the lake at about one o'clock.

"Hagrid." I greeted the half-giant abruptly. His face drooped and his gait faltered for a split-second before he continued following me.

"Canna talk wit' ya?" He ran a hand over his huge mole-skin coat.

"By all means." I slowed to a stop and turned to face him.

"Well, Dumbledore's been to see me jus' a few months past now an' well, he told me 'Ermione was comin' back ta Hogwarts." He was wringing his hands now in embarrassment.

"As I have heard." I sighed this time for real, almost in resignation.

"An' she's gone an' been married for almost four years now, to Bill Weasley." He was still wringing his hands now, in addition to turning near-crimson.

"Anything else, Hagrid?" I tried to sound bored and I know that it worked.

"She's also got herself a little 'un."

"I am aware. Mairwen Elizabeth, I believe."

"Well, 'Ermione, she…well, she…" Hagrid trailed off at that point, plucking a leaf from the tree we had stopped under.

"Yes?"

"I think, well, I know, 'Ermione misses you an awful lot." Sparks lit my eyes, I knew it. Hagrid must have seen my change of posture as well. "That's what I wanted to talk ta ya 'bout, per'fesser. 'Ermione's in a bad way right now. She's tryin' to help the Order an' she's sacrificin' everythin' for it. But she's loosin' her husband at the same time."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I said tightly.

"An' that's what I come to talk to you about. She's got it hard enough righ' now for you to come back in her life an' turn it up on it's head. Jus' let her be. I dunno why she left ya back then, no one really does, but we all know that the little 'un looks a spittin' image like ya, per'fesser. You knew tha', righ'?" Hagrid faltered again and resumed wringing his hands.

"I did all I could for Miss Granger and her child, but she would not accept my money or my letters. I could not reach her." I sat straighter as I braced myself for more chastisement from the bumbling Care of Magical Creatures class.

"All of us knew ya' were tryin', but 'Ermione's as stubborn as they come. I'm jus' askin' ya' ta be kind ta her. She needs it now." And with that, Hagrid turned and walked down the path away from me toward his hut.

I sat there for a long while, contemplating life.

_"Congratulations, Miss Granger." I said after the Graduation feast as the last of the students were leaving. The younger years had already taken the train the afternoon before and only the former seventh-year class was milling about Hogwarts a final time as students. _

_"Professor Snape, may I talk with you?" Miss Granger asked me, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. _

_"That is what you are doing, am I not correct?" I glanced across the foyer to a clock. It read 6:39 pm. _

_"I just wanted to ask you for a letter of reference to the Aleford Institute. I decided to pursue potions after all." She said this all with a little laugh._

_"I'm very glad to hear that. You will do well." I forced myself to say. She beamed. _

_"Thank you, sir." she said, looking about to hug me. _

_"No thanks is required, Miss Granger. But you will need to hurry if you will catch the train in Hogsmeade." I said, glancing at the clock again. 6:40 pm._

_"I'm not taking the train. Professor Dumbledore has arranged for Harry, Ron and I to go later. He wanted to speak with us about something." _

_"Ah, yes. I am to go to that meeting as well. We will be late if we dawdle." I said as I nodded to her and we made our way up the grand staircase. We continued in silence until the third floor when the staircase promptly gave a shudder to signal it was about to move. _

_Miss Granger, who was two steps above me and to my left gave a great lurch when the staircase shuddered and ended up crashing against me, knocking me to the side of the flight against the rail. She 'oomph'ed as she hit me, her hands against my chest and my arms flying to her waist. _

_I then realized that Miss Granger wasn't so Miss Granger-ish anymore and much more Hermione-ish. _

And then it was 3:55 and Hermione would most likely be at my door in moments, expecting to be let in. I swore and took off at a run back towards the castle.

3:57

I ran down the first two flights of stairs.

3:59

Fuck, I was going to be late.

4:01

I skidded around the corner before the suit of armor that was the entrance to my-our chambers.

And there she was, in all of her Gryffindor glory. Hermione Gran- I mean, Hermione Weasley stood there, the top of her head coming just under my chin if we were to be standing closer. She was in front of me, as I live and breathe.

I stood there, taking her in and the little changes that had altered her over the past five years. She was now 24 and supposedly in the prime of her life. Dark shadows ringed her eyes and her skin was paler than I had last seen the few months before. What surprised me most was the little shots of silver running through the length of it all, with it the most prominent at her hairline.

For a moment, she relaxed into my presence and smiled gently. But it was not to last. She shook her head, making the curls bounce slightly. She frowned a bit and raised her face to me again with a mask of amicability on it.

Come back to me, Hermione. Please.

"Professor Snape, good to see you." She held out her right hand after she set down an attaché case. And I shook it silently and prayed that she couldn't feel my heart breaking.

"It's Severus, please, Mrs. Weasley." I said.

"All right, Severus." I winced. She obviously wanted me to call her Mrs. Weasley. "What is the password?"

I blanched when I realized that I hadn't changed it from our daughter's name this afternoon.

"I'm getting it changed as soon as possible." I leaned close to the suit of armor and whispered it.

"You're going to have to speak up, Laddie!" The suit bellowed at me. I blushed and repeated the password louder this time, perfectly audible to Hermione as well.

"Mairwen."

"Well, that was a bit easier to hear, wasn't it?" the suit said before moving aside to let Hermione and I pass through the not-so-solid wall.

_"I've never been to your rooms before, Severus." Hermione said as we laid by the lake the next May when she had returned to Hogwarts for more Auror training. "We spent all of this last year getting to know each other and I've never seen your rooms." she laughed then at the absurdity of it all. _

_"I think that you would not appreciate what I would do if you were in my bedroom." I said quietly, mischievously, before I pounced on top of her and began to tickle her sides._

_"Oh, fine, I see how it is." she said as she caught her breath minutes later. "But, I'm a big girl and I know what I want."_

_"And how long have we been dating?" I asked. _

_"Since November of this past year. That's officially. We began to see each other differently in about July." _

_"So seven and a bit months or a little over ten?" I restated, a question in the words. "And how old are you now?"_

_"Magically, twenty years of age, chronologically, a little shy of nineteen and a half. And you are just a few days over thirty-nine." The sun poured through her hair, separating the coppers, rich brown and auburns._

_"Have I told you that you're beautiful today?" I asked, entranced again by her smooth, melodic voice. _

_"It's only eleven in the morning. Not yet." She closed her eyes and smiled into the sunlight._

_"I just wanted to make sure I told you. You know, covering all my bases."_

_"Thank you, love." Seeing my rooms was forgotten as she laid her head in my lap for me to stroke her hair. _

_Moments passed. Birds twittered. Leaves rustled. The lake lapped a few yards from us. _

_Suddenly Hermione stood up and took me by the hand, dragging me upward. She pressed her body against mine and murmured into my shirt. _

_"Make love to me, Severus, please."_

I hope she was remembering the first homecoming to these rooms as well. If she was remembering them, she gave no sign.

Hermione looked nonplussed at the choice of password, but she must have known. She knows- or maybe knew- me too well.

"Welcome to my home." I said, levitating her trunk into the space. "Would you like a grand tour?"

"I believe that I remember well enough. Where will I be sleeping?" Her voice cracked at the last syllable.

"Through this door." I gestured to the door to the right of mine. I cleared my throat before I started speaking again. "The bathroom is connected, you see." I went over and opened the door for her and pointed to the door on the other side of the room.

Hermione gasped. I had hoped that she wouldn't do that. It irritated me a small amount. She walked through the door that I was holding open and she took in the décor of the room that I had hand selected. I knew better than to dress the room in red and gold or definitely not green and silver. I remembered her fondness for a rich plum purple and with that I paired chestnut wood and bronze and cream colored accents. A large bay window with a cushioned seat was on the west wall of the room. The bed was not a typical Hogwarts four-poster that she abhorred. The high headboard was not ornately carved, but simply and exquisitely with gleaming wooden ionic columns flanking the headboard. The footboard was not very tall and was also squared with matching columns the same height as the board itself. A thick duvet of plum crushed velvet was over high-count cotton cream sheets. A few pillows with covers of cream and bronze were adorning the bed. Two twin night stands were on the left and right of the bed, with the bases the same ionic columns. A functional, if huge, desk of the same stain and wood was in the opposite corner surrounded by bookshelves. A door on the wall opposite the window hid a closet from sight.

When she had re-gained her composure, she turned to me. "Thank you for all of your work, Severus. I assume you did all this?"

I managed to answer in the affirmative.

"Well, I think I'll take a bath now, I'm a bit sullied from the journey on the train." she said, obviously wanting me to leave her room.

"I assume that I will take my leave of you now. Have a pleasant afternoon. Dinner is still at 6:30."

Mrs. Weasley was already opening her various bags and trunks when she looked up and bid me a good afternoon as well. I closed the door as I left.

I waited to break down until I got into the privacy of my own room.

"See the pyramids along the Nile  
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle  
Just remember that all the while  
You belong to me  
See the market place in old Algiers  
Send me photographs and souvenirs  
Just remember when a dream appears  
You belong to me  
I'll be so lonesome without you  
Maybe you'll be lonesome, too  
Fly the ocean in a silver plane  
See the jungle when it's wet with rain  
Just remember 'til you're home againYou belong to me"  
-Vonda Shepard


	3. And Thou Shalt Not

My apologies fall on deaf ears for the lateness. Inexcusable, I know.

"Mrs. Weasley?" I knocked lightly on her door the night of September 31.

"Yes, Severus?" Her voice came lightly from the inside of the room.

"We're being summoned to the Revel. You need to come out now." I said, shifting my silver face mask in my hands.

"I'll be right there." In moments she opened the door just a crack and squeezed out of it. She shut the door immediately after she exited as well. I cocked my eyebrow quizzically at her, but she took no notice of it. "I'm ready."

"Good. We don't want to be late." I walked over to the fireplace and put in a liberal amount of the floo powder. Hermione followed me, adjusting her black robes and putting on the silver mask of the death eaters.

"I'll go first." she said, sidestepping me. "Serpent's Lair!" and with a flash and a whirl of green fire she was gone. I quickly did the same.

_I sat down next to the fire with a battered and heavily foot-noted copy of Moste Potent Potions. It had been an exceptionally long day. Thank Merlin it was Friday. I found that I could not read tonight. Herm-Mrs. Weasley was at the Burrow tonight, with her family. With my daughter. _

_"God damn-it!" I screamed finally, cutting through the silence. I poured a over-flowing snifter of scotch and downed half. In a fit of cliché, I pitched the half-consumed glass against the mantle piece, causing the fire place to spit out sparks. I felt better. One random act of destructive rage helps a lot. _

"Ah, Hermione, my pet." Voldemort purred from his seat at the head of the long table.

"My Lord." She replied demurely.

"And Severus, how does your ground keep at Hogwarts?" Hermione took a seat to the left of Voldemort and I stood behind her, my fingers caressing her neck.

"Old coot is still alive, I fear." Voldemort's laughter chilled me. He was changed, Voldemort was. While still haggard and worn, he had a body. The only noticeable feature of the past half-man was the red eyes, now set into a human scull.

"Severus does try, you know." She planted a kiss between my index and middle fingers, letting her warm breath linger on my skin.

Every time she touched me my heart broke into even more pieces. She looked at me as she spoke, her eyes belaying nothing of the spirit within them. I hoped that spirit wasn't gone.

Soon we were headed home. I left first and landed on the carpet neatly. Hermione was not so fortunate. She came sprawling through and I rushed to the fireplace to catch her under the arms as she fell backwards. I steadied the toppling woman to her feet. How reminiscent of five years before. She leaned into my arms for a brief moment and like all the tiny glimpses of the old Hermione I was had it was gone in a second. She shot up like a cat when she realized what she had done.

"Hermione, please." I looked at her as she turned around again to steady herself. This was the first time that I had said her name. Her _real_ name.

Her eyes grew wide as she realized what I had said. "What?"

"Just be you, Hermione…" I started, sounding like a complete idiot.

"This is me, Professor, this is Hermione Weasley."

"But every once and a while I see Hermione _Granger_. Sometimes I see the old you and you know I see it. Hermione…" Her back was turned to me and she flinched when I put my hand on her shoulder. She turned around.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to be here? I'm away from my home, my husband and my daughter-" she started

"Our daughter."

"_My _daughter. My Mairwen. You made it perfectly clear that you didn't want her or me."

"If I remember correctly, it was a five-minute exchange that we had. You gathered that I didn't want you or her from that. Do you know how many letters I sent? How many hundreds?" Hermione looked away from me, tears in her eyes. Her head snapped back as I continued. "Look at me, Hermione! I'm not a nice man, how did you expect me to express me shock?"

"This is my life, Severus. I did what was best for my family- Mairwen and I."

"And although Mairwen is _my_ daughter, I never got a say in this?"

"She is Bill's daughter." Hermione yelled back

"Only because you made yourself unplottable! Honestly, what did you think I was going to do? Eat our firstborn?"

"I wouldn't put it past you!"

"Why didn't you ask me how I felt? Maybe even come back after a few days? You prided yourself on being the most rational and intelligent and clever witch of your age and you did the most childish thing you could think of!"

"I couldn't stay! You know I couldn't, Severus."

"What were you afraid of?" Silence reigned. "Hermione."

"My self." Hermione was insincere in her words, I knew.

"That's a lie. Why did you leave so quickly? I have my theories, but I want to hear it from you."

"What makes you think I'm lying?"

"I know you."

"You don't!" Hermione cried. She edged away from me, but there was nowhere to go but the window seat behind her.

"Get back on the subject, Hermione! Why would you leave me? Why would you lie to me? You seemed awfully glad to be getting out of my life."

The back of her hand connected with my cheekbone. It stung, but I did not give her the satisfaction of hearing me gasp or seeing me wince.

"How dare you." her voice was quiet, deadly, and decidedly wavering.

"Let's find out, shall we? Do you know how easy it would be for me just to find out?"

"Stay out of my mind, Snape. I warn you."

"This isn't about your mind. This is about why you left me."

"If you would calm down for just five minutes, maybe I would tell you!"

"Hermione, I'm not the one shouting, am I?" She was quiet again. She was ugly now, her lies seemed to sully her appearance. Even as she was standing there I could see the change in her. She was out of control. Hermione was never out of control. She looked away and I continued to look straight at her.

It was quiet except for the fire cracking behind us. I knew that it was now or never. She looked up at me after a moment, those big brown eyes that were so full of hope once and now full of determination. She squared herself, she centered and it reflected in ever posture of her body.

"I was always in love with Bill." she was forceful in her words.

"No you weren't." It was simple. "Don't lie to me, Hermione. I know." I edged closer to her, predatory and sultry. We were inches away from each other now. "Tell me, then. Did you leave me because I was too much to handle? Or because Bill was just easy enough? He didn't push you, did he? Try to make you think, make you question your questions. He didn't make you leave your dreamland and see reality. It was just easy enough to crawl back to the Weasleys and play the prodigal son. Naturally they'd welcome you with open arms. And then there was Bill, wasn't there? Good, wholesome, kind. But you don't need _kind_, Hermione. You need passion."

Her body was still against mine, her knees about to buckle against the edge of the seat. I stepped forward again, and she did drop back into the seat. I pressed my palms into the cushion on either side of her and pulled one knee up to rest there. Her eyes fluttered closed. Her breath was sharp.

"I…" she faltered, futilely trying to make her last stand. My breath was warm next to her cheek. I let my hair fall onto her collarbones. I brushed my lips over her cheekbone. Her earlobe. Her nose. Her chin.

And thou shalt not…

Her lips. I didn't kiss her softly, she didn't need softness from me. She needed reality. A harsh, bruising kiss. The kind that elicited moans to escape from her little rosebud mouth. A burning, searing kiss. And the second she relaxed and started to battle my tongue with hers I came back to reality. I kissed her back for another moment more until I wretched my mouth away from hers. I stayed close enough for her to see my swollen lips and heavy-lidded eyes. Then I spoke, my voice ragged and angry.

"Does Bill ever make you feel like this?"

"You seem very well, things look peaceful  
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know  
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity  
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner  
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced  
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her"

-Alanis Morissette


	4. Aftermath

I assume that Hermione awoke in her bed this morning dissatisfied. I turned my back on her at my parting comment of "Does Bill ever make you feel like this?" and swept into my bedroom. A simple charm revealed her still sitting on the window seat stunned. A hand went to her mouth and traced her lips. Long moments of reverie followed. Suddenly she closed her eyes tight and shook her head violently, as if trying to forget the things that had transpired.

A smirk followed her as I watched her open and close the door to her bedroom. I extinguished the light and slept.

When I awoke at seven an owl was pecking at my window. I rose and donned my robe before continuing to the window to let the bird in. Ginny's tall, slanted writing had my name inscribed on the front of the letter.

_Sev-_

_Lucius and I will be dropping by today- he has to speak with Dumbledore and I wanted to come along to have a talk with you. I hear Hermione is back at Hogwarts. I wanted to see how you were handling the whole sordid affair. I hope this missive finds you in an adequate mood? I couldn't ask for more than adequate- good or even fair tend to end in the killings of very small schoolchildren and the elderly. _

_Anyway, we'll be by around 1:00. Lucius asks me to relay his greetings as well. Draco is not yet awake or I assume you'd have his too._

_love from-_

_Gin_

And so the real lioness would be meeting her old friend on her own terms.

Hermione didn't speak of her friends to me, but I knew what had happened to the young Potter and Weasleys. I had only seen one of them on my own wishing in the five years that Hermione had been gone, and it was the young Ginevra. Ginny Weasley was an estranged family member of the famously loving Weasley Clan.

Years ago I did not think it possible for Lucius to redeem himself from the depths of the degradation he subjugated himself to. And yet, the Malfoy Senior found solace in the Order of the Phoenix and Albus Dumbledore. Lucius begged Ginny's forgiveness for the pain he had caused her in her first year and a tenuous friendship emerged. As her friendship with Lucius grew stronger, as did a cautious admiration for the man that Lucius called son. Draco, Malfoy Junior, was repentant and found himself taking a liking to the Weasley girl. Their casual acquaintance eventually turned into a well seasoned camaraderie.

Although Lucius had proved to be a loyal member of the Order, when the friendship was discovered by Ron, Ginny was promptly turned out. That very day three years ago Ginny was invited to live at the Manor with Lucius, Narcissa and Draco. She became family almost instantly. This friendship and family-like nature didn't happen overnight. It took near on two years.

I saw Ginny often. Lucius had me for dinner frequently and Ginny was unabashedly loving towards her adopted family. She was no longer shy and mostly overlooked. Life with the Malfoys had brought her out of her shell and she was shining as her own person, not just as the little sister of Bill, Charlie, Fred and George, and so on, and the daughter of Molly and Arthur. She was Ginny, resplendent in her own right.

Ron went on past Hogwarts and promptly failed out of Avebury College. Hermione told me about it when he did. She said for once in her live and his, she refused to do the work for him. He also failed auror training, I've heard. He's 25 and still not initiated into the Order.

Ron, Ron, Ron. What to do, what to do?

Harry Potter still mourns the love of Ginny Weasley. He is unmarried and childless. I helped grade his test results in the Auror Academy. He is a proficient Auror and as much as I hate to say it, a natural leader. Fortunately he is no coward and will not shirk from his duties.

_It was nearing midnight and I couldn't sleep. I felt as though a good pace around the castle was in order. Hermione was off with Potter and I was trying futilely to sleep alone. _

"_Harry." Hermione's voice was soft. She sat on a stone bench in the courtyard with Harry by her side. Her face was bathed in moonlight. I stopped to listen, hidden by the darkness and a stone column. _

"_Yes?"_

"_I need to talk to you about something."_

"_What is it, Hermione?"_

"_I'm scared." her voice wavered as she spoke the words. _

"_Of what, love?"_

"_Severus."_

"_But you love him. I've seen the way you look at him."_

"_I know, I know. I do love him. But he's so much older than me and he's so passionate and fiery." She sounded resigned_

"_But I thought that's what you wanted." Harry turned his body to face Hermione more. She sighed. _

"_I do, but I'm sick of all the gossip. And Ron's mad at me."_

"_Since when has that mattered?"_

"_It always has."_

"_What are you talking about, Hermione? This isn't like you. You're just giving up on the man you love because Ron's miffed at you? My God, I thought I knew you." Harry's voice was disgusted. I was disgusted too, but I couldn't reveal my hiding place. _

_I turned then and walked back to our-my rooms. I would make it easy on her the first chance that comes. I'll let her leave. I love her, but I don't want her if she's going to be like this. _

_I never thought that she'd leave my life so thoroughly._

The door to her bedroom opened at about eleven and she emerged. She looked impeccable in a charcoal gray pencil skirt and aqua colored sweater, but I could tell by the way she was holding herself and the circles below her eyes that she was far from impeccable.

"Morning." Hermione said as she moved to make a cup of tea and pour a bowl of oatmeal.

I returned the pleasantries from my place at the table. Over my copy of the Daily Prophet I saw her hesitate and then sit down across from me.

"Severus?" She hadn't taken a single spoonful yet.

"Yes?"

"I…" she seemed to loose nerve for whatever she was going to say next. "It was nothing."

"Ginny Weasley will be here at one. You'd best make yourself scarce if you'd not like to see her." I said, informing her of my days activities.

"Ginny?" She seemed shocked

"Yes, she and Lucius will be making a call on Dumbledore."

"I see. How is she?"

"She is very well. She does well to be away from the Weasleys." I said, taking a sip of my coffee.

"She what?"

"You heard me. She's flourished being away from them."

"How could she?" Hermione's voice was astonished as she breathed the words.

"Flourish? Very simple. She's no longer just a Weasley. She's been treated well because of her own merit."

"No, I mean hurt the Weasleys and Harry and I like that."

"And did you try writing?" I said, knowing full well that she hadn't. Her face colored. "Ginny tried to write hundreds of times. She's been estranged for three whole years now."

What has happened to my Hermione? When did she become so uncompassionate and dull-witted? I loved Hermione. Always her. She was in my mind, in my heart. She would sweep around in her school uniforms, smiles on her face, kind touches of her hands. She was a goddess incarnate, a gracious hostess, demure and sweet. She was witty and clever, with a beauty that just glowed more radiantly for her charms. Rambunctious light brown hair and expressive dark eyes…she was beauty personified.

And then there is the current Hermione. The current Hermione has lost her spark. She is an empty hollow of a person. Where kindness and charm once ruled, ruthlessness and cunning have taken their place. My Hermione, what have I done? She was light, she was my light. I can't find her beacon any longer and I'm lost without it. Lost without her. I loved Hermione Granger. I do not know who she is now or why she does things. But she is my Hermione; she is my lifeblood.. I have crushed a spirit, completely and wholly. I loved Hermione and I love her still. She's answering only to God now.

"She says the bible is all that she reads  
and prefers that I not use profanity  
your mouth was so dirty  
Life of the party  
and she swears that she's artsy  
but you could distinguish

Miles from Coltrane  
Our love was comfortable

and so broken in  
she's perfect, so flawless  
or so they say"

-John Mayer

Well, It seems that I have the rest of the story planned out: It'll have from 15-20 chapters, depending on how I am writing it. Love me?


	5. The Real Lioness' Terms

Ginny was prompt, her knuckles rapping at the door at just a minute to one.

Hermione had selected a book from the shelf at just after noon. She was sitting on the chaise lounge, her feet tucked under her. She hadn't turned a page in at least fifteen minutes. I could only see her profile, but she visibly stiffened when she heard the knock.

I was up and to the door before the second knock came.

"Ginny, you look well." I embraced the woman that came through the door after she took off her jacket.

"Thanks, Sev. You are looking better. You could stand a few pounds though."

"Thank you, Ginevra. I only hear this from you once every week or so. I seemed to have forgotten."

"One does one's best." The redhead smirked in Severus' direction. Where Hermione had aged harshly, Ginny settled into adulthood with relative ease and grace. Ginny's 23 to Hermione's 24 seemed ages apart. And yet Ginny had changed. Her height had finally evened out and she ended at an extremely tall five feet ten inches. She was lithe and thin, and beautifully proportioned. Her hair hung in a waist long braid and her face still had a smattering of freckles across the nose and cheekbones.

Ginny finally realized that Hermione was in the room. I could see a mixture of emotions run across their faces: fear and nervousness from Hermione and cool, calculated distaste from Ginny. Only Ginny's expression changed from cold to possibly open, like she was meeting someone for the first time.

"Hermione. It's good to see you." Ginny strode over to the chaise where Hermione was still seated.

"It's been a long time, Ginny." Hermione was speaking softly, as if afraid that talking loudly would break her fragile confidence.

"Three years, two months and four days." Ginny recited, looking her old friend in the eye.

Silence followed. I watched as Hermione waited for the backlash and Ginny looked like a lioness ready to make her move. Watch it, Hermione. You've met up with a far better marksman than yourself.

"How are the Malfoys?"

"Well. And my brother- whichever you're bedding now, that is?" Ginny's words stung even me.

It was true that Hermione had gone from Charlie to Bill within the space of three months and that she had dated Ron three years prior.

"_She's with Charlie, Sev." Ginny said to me from across the Malfoy's table._

"_Is she?" I was resigned and I took a mouthful of soup into my mouth._

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Not as sorry as I am."_

"Bill is well, as is Mairwen. They're at your home." Bad choice of words, Hermione.

"My home? Not for years, Hermione."

"He helped me fund the shop."

"That's nice of him. You mentioned Severus' daughter. How is she?"

"Very well, although she had a bit of a cold."

There was silence again for a very long moment. Hermione was pale and swallowed visibly. Ginny suddenly turned back to me, her back to Hermione.

"So, Sev, I think I've wounded your roommate enough for one morning. What do you say to sandwiches in Hogsmeade?" Ginny's voice was crisp and left no questions.

"I'd be delighted. Let me get my cloak. How is it outside?" I walked over to the coat closet and was debating between a medium or heavy weight. After all, it was Scotland.

"Go for the heavy weight. It's rather nippy."

The cloak went around my shoulders and the scarf around my neck. Ginny was similarly attired as we stepped through the door into the hall.

"Ginevra." I growled.

"What, Sev? You think I was too hard on her? I don't. I don't know what's gotten into her! It's not like she's the same Hermione we all knew. She might as well not be." Ginny's scowl deepened.

"I still love her. Don't speak to her that way."

"You can't still love her. She's the polar opposite of what she once was and no one for the life of us can figure out what changed her so much!"

"You love Harry still."

"No, there's a difference. I lust after Harry still. With all his bellyaching about missing me not once have I even gotten a Floo call from the likes of him. I couldn't love someone like that."

"What do I do, Gin?" It wasn't like me to beg for advice, but I needed it, badly.

"What have you done thus far?" she asked as I opened the door to the Entrance Hall for her.

"I kissed her to make a point. A point that she doesn't need some mealy mouth yes man to make her life good. She needs passion and spirit. Someone that understands her and challenges her. So I explained that and then I kissed her."

"You kissed her." Ginny's voice was incredulous

"Yes." I looked over at her and her jaw was neatly resting between her feet. "What have I done? Is there something on my face?"

"What kind of kiss was it?"

"It was hard and quick and angry. And I pulled back as soon as she started enjoying it and asked her if Bill ever made her feel like that."

"Touché. When was this?" Ginny was nodding with appreciation. Why wasn't that girl a Slytherin?

"Last night."

"Ahh, so that's what the dark under-eye circles were from. She couldn't stop thinking."

"I guess." We walked in amicable silence for a while. Ginny shivered in the cold and I muttered a light warming charm on her. She smiled her appreciation.

"As much as I hate to say it, Sev, but she is a married woman. And you have higher morals than that. I won't say that she does, but I know that you have a higher sense of integrity than a nun."

"Let's hope that that integrity doesn't slip."

"Let's face it. You'd be wrong to pursue a married woman. I don't care what she does, she still married someone else."

Ginny and I parted ways when we found Lucius in the Entrance Hall. We said hello and made plans to get together for dinner and I was headed back to my rooms by three o'clock.

I opened the door and put my cloak in the closet before I even noticed her still lying on the chaise. She was asleep now, and looking a good deal more peaceful than before.

I sighed. When she was asleep like this, I could just pretend that it was how it once was. She stirred and I could see the silver in her hair now. So much for the illusions of the past.

Hermione, Hermoine. Come back to me.

Looking closer, I saw that her face was blotchy and tear streaked. She must have been crying for a while before she finally fell asleep. In a fit of compassion for this witch in front of me, I brushed some stray strands away from her face. I smiled at her little contented sighs. I left my fingers along one cheek and she seemed to press her face closer to my fingers.

A little smile graced her face, "Severus." she muttered sleepily.

Oh how I wanted to take her into my arms. An overwhelming surge of love overtook me and she seemed to nudge herself out of sleep and open her eyes tiredly and look up at me. A genuine Hermione Granger smile lit up her face. It was like she was younger again and still mostly naïve to the world around her, but brave and ready to face the realities that lay ahead. Why couldn't things have been different? How could I have changed this?

She said my name again, this time she was awake. I smiled a real smile back at her.

"Good morning." I said

"Severus, I need your help." her eyes were bright with tears, now that I looked again.

"Oh, Hermione, you know that you can ask anything of me."

"I need you to help me because I don't know how to help myself. I'm sorry, Severus. I'm so sorry." I was down on my knees in an instant and my arms were wrapped around her. She cried with abandon and managed to babble garbled sentences, "I need you. Oh, Severus, I've missed you so much. You were right, you are always right…"

"It's going to be all right, Hermione. I promise. You're safe. I'll keep you safe."

"No, not going to be all right. Ginny was right, I've changed."

"We all change, love."

"Not like this. I hate myself and I don't even recognize who I am anymore. I'm so vile and wretched."

"Hermione. Oh, Hermione."

We sat there for a long time. Her tears and sniffles seemed to subside after a while. At around five, when Hermione had succumbed to a fitful sleep yet again, I started to grade the fourth years papers for the following day.

"And rain falls angry on the tin roof  
As we lie awake in my bed  
You're my survival, you're my living proof  
My love is alive and not dead"

-Edwin McCain

I need to cool it, don't I? Overloading you with three chapters in two days…silly Hannah.


	6. Ginny's Hunch

"Have tea with me after classes?" Hermione stopped me in the corridor outside the Potions room where she had just taught the second years. I was going in to utilize the room in the free period. There was double 4th years potions at 2:00.

"What's going on?" I was concerned. I caught her by the elbow in a gesture of comfort.

"Nothing. Well, not nothing. You'll see." Hermione's smile lit up her face.

"All right. I'll be done with the 4th years at four."

"Good, just come straight home." She flitted off after that and I stood there stunned. What the fuck has happened to sullen, angry, self-righteous Hermione? Maybe my Hermione is back. Maybe, just maybe.

"Don't even entertain the thought." Ginny stood behind me and when I turned I saw her leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised haughtily.

"Did you see her?"

"Yes, yes, yes. I saw her. But for five ungodly long years you've been describing ever aspect of the darling Mrs. Weasley to me and frankly, Severus, you need to bloody snap out of it." We walked into the classroom now and Ginny shut the door behind us and warded it.

"I can't snap out of it, Ginny, I've always loved her. I know that sounds like a crazy lovesick thing to say, but maybe I don't want to forget her."

"Don't tell me you can't snap out of it. You dated Hermione for eleven months. I dated Harry for three _years._ And look what's happened to us? The same things, Severus. Harry left me, Hermione left you. One of us chose to go on with our life, confident that we were making the best decision possible in the situation. The other, you, have been moping around for five years. FIVE YEARS, man. You don't want to forget about her, but she's damn well forgotten about you! Don't even start to tell me that you can't, because I know you can, because I did."

"What did you come here for, Ginevra?" Irritation was creeping into my voice and her blue eyes flashed at me like ice.

"That is beyond the point right now. You're Severus bloody wanker Snape. You're telling me that you've been a _spy _for fourteen years, an all around jackass teacher for longer and you're telling me that one silly little bitch of a girl can defeat you? Please."

"She's the mother to my child."

"How do you know? She could have been fooling around all—" Ginny covered her mouth hastily and took a step back away from me.

"Ginevra." I growled, "You'd best explain yourself."

"I'm sorry, Severus, I didn't mean that."

"Ginny."

"It's not important."

"Ginny! Yes it is! This is the woman I love we're talking about here, and my child."

"I don't think Mairwen is your daughter." Ginny's voice was tired, resigned.

"What makes you think this?"

"I don't know. Just a hunch." She wouldn't meet my eyes. A lie.

"Just a hunch? When have you ever done anything just 'on a hunch'?"

"All right. I don't want to say it, all right? Hold on." Ginny pulled what looked like a miniature pensieve, enlarged it, and readied to pull the memory out.

"Ginny?" she looked up and stopped, "Do you still hear Voldemort's voice, Ginny?"

"That's not the point here." She made ready to start again.

"We'll beat him, Ginny, for everything he did to you."

"I know." She pulled a long, silvery thread from her temple and floated it to the handheld pensieve. She shivered when it lost contact with her skin. "Here you are. Don't tell me I didn't warn you."

I braced myself although I was shaking terribly. Sighing a huge breath out I plunged my face into the memories.

_I was behind Ginny as she walked down the sidewalk in muggle London. I believe we were in Piccadilly Circus. This looked to be about five years ago. Ginny had apparated into an alley and discarded her cloak into her satchel and pulled out a simple tan muggle trench coat. It was drizzling out and rather cold for July, only about 50 degrees or so. She was following a maze of streets at a quick pace, so I followed her. _

_She stopped in front of a six or so story apartment building which was wedged between a Sainsbury's grocery and an elementary school. I had been here before. It was Harry's apartment. She started to put out her hand to ring the buzzer but an enlightened look crossed her face. She darted over to the fire escape. As she started to climb I felt a pull of apprehension. Gods… how can what I think be happening really be happening? _

_I stood staring at the building and Ginny make her way up the ladder and I hurried behind her, only several steps behind. We reached the fourth floor fire escape and she was about to tap on the glass when she saw someone start to come through the door. She flattened herself to the brick beside the window and giggled, thinking she had caught Harry alone. _

_I was only an audience for the play going on around me, so I looked in the window. I tried to look away, but for once I couldn't. I was rooted to the spot. _

_Hermione. My Hermione was being kissed thoroughly by a man that was not me. And she wasn't fighting back. In fact, she was the aggressor and had quickly divested Harry of his clothes. _

_Ginny still stood with her back flat against the wall, smile still on her face. She moved to look in the window and I felt my stomach in my mouth. _

_The memory was slowing now, obviously what Ginny would feel bombarded me. Her mouth dropped open in a scream of pure pain and anguish. Her satchel came off her back and soon the window was smashed with it. Ginny crawled in hand over hand, legs and wrists and hands now cut to shreds. I entered after her just as quickly. _

_Harry was sitting up on the bed, his back against the headboard. Hermione was riding him, his hands cupping her buttocks, look of ecstasy on his face for a split second and then horror the next. Hermione had obviously heard the window break and propelled herself off of Harry's lap with a wet nasty slipping noise. _

_And there was Ginny, in all of her fury. Hermione had scrambled to pull a sheet around her body, Harry sat there shocked. _

_"Ginny!" Hermione cried, her eyes wildly looking around._

_"You bloody slut." Ginny was close enough to Hermione to get her face close enough to whisper deadly. _

_"This is wild, isn't it?" A laugh permeated the room, "Hermione Granger, my best friend. Harry Potter, MY boyfriend, and don't you ever forget that Granger. What else? Oh yes, Granger here is also fucking the man that's saved your life dozens of times over, Potter. You're both just sick. And he loves you, Granger!"_

_"Ginny…" Harry started, finally having the decency to get up and pull on his boxer shorts. _

_"Oh Harry. My God, Harry. I just wasn't enough. Because I wouldn't fuck you. My God."_

_"Ginny, look, it's not-" Hermione started_

_"Not what it looks like? Bloody fucking likely!" Ginny laughed harshly again. _

_Silence reined for a moment, Ginny's limbs dripping blood down onto the white carpet. _

_"I'll forget about you, Harry Potter." She was whispering again, but they could hear her perfectly, "But I'm sure that your guilt will never let you forget me. Both of you. I won't say anything. I won't tell you to burn in Hell. I just want you to know that you don't deserve me, Potter. Or you, Granger. I'm better than you."_

_And with a jolt, Ginny dissaperated._

I was back on my feet, my arms shaking as they held me up off the desk.

Ginny was sitting behind the desk now, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her cheeks betrayed her silent tears. She looked small and fragile sitting there.

"Ginny." I sunk to my knees beside her, putting my arms around her. "I'm so sorry, Ginny. I really am."

"Do you see why I loathe her?" her voice was rough and breaking as she spoke the words.

"I do and I'm sorry you had to go through that." She cried a little longer while I held her.

"They must have gone crazy." she cried, "Because that's so unlike either of them. I don't even recognize Hermione now. And I went back to him."

"I am sorry, Ginny. I really am."

"How are you doing though?" she looked up at me with bleary eyes.

"It's been a long time, Ginny, and I'm sorry that I've been such a dunce."

"The baby does look like you though." Ginny said, blowing her nose on the proffered handkerchief.

"Does she have the nose?" I asked, a trace of humor in my voice.

"No, just the black hair, the pale skin." Ginny said.

"Ginny, I'm descended of Romany Gypsies, my skin is pale because this is Scotland!"

"This is ridiculous." Ginny sighed. "I wish I had a man that would love me five years after the fact."

Suddenly a pain flared on my forearm.

"No, no…not today!"

"What? It's not like I've complained a lot! I'm just saying that you're the perfect man! Gentle, doting and loyal. Great in the sack, I assume." Ginny shot me a cheeky grin, "Not that I'd know, I'm still a virgin."

"Not you, Ginny! Voldemort!" I pulled up my sleeve to let her see.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Sev. Good luck."

"It's all right, Ginny." I started for the fireplace in my office. Before I disappeared from sight, I called back to Ginny: "Ginny, make sure I take you on a date after this is all over, would you?"

"She's waitin' by the window  
When he pulls into the drive  
She rushes out to hold him  
Thankful he's alive  
Through all the wind and rain  
A strange new perfume blows  
And the lightnin' flashes in her eyes  
And he knows that she knows  
And the thunder rolls"

-Garth Brooks


	7. Unicorn Hair and Dragon Heartstring

All the thoughts that were racing through my brain came to an abrupt stop as soon as I landed at Voldemort's feet.

"Arise, Severus." I looked up from where I was bowed and saw that he was alone in this room with me. I stood. "How is your pet?"

"She is well, my lord."

"Sit here next to me, Severus." Voldemort gestured to the chair beside him. I obliged.

"I am wondering why you called me in the middle of the day, my lord." I said, keeping my eyes low.

"I have good news. I have found a way to defeat Potter. Another informant has supplied me with the information I needed."

"My lord?"

"Your dear, sweet Hermione has told me that Harry intends to purchase another wand, for the sole purpose of defeating me. I've been told it holds the hair of a unicorn." He laughed softly.

_It was softly raining as Albus looked at me over his half-moon spectacles. We sat together in his private chambers, the tea in our hands long since cold. _

"_It is bleak, Albus." I said, turning over my lemon again, "Unless Voldemort suddenly decided to repent."_

"_What other way is there?" he said, his merry eyes dull. _

"_Potter lacks the magical ability to perform the complex spells needed to extinguish Voldemort's life. He needs another way."_

"_Do you think he could learn?"_

"_He is an auror and a leader. But this cannot be learned. There is a fierceness of spirit required for that kind of spell work and he does not possess the will to learn."_

"_Then a ruse shall have to be made."_

"_Agreed." We sat in contemplative silence for several long moments. Albus got up suddenly and started pacing his bookshelves. _

_He spoke suddenly: "Veela Hair counteracts what substance?"_

_It was with reflex that I answered, "Vampire Teeth."_

"_Phoenix Feather?"_

"_Threstral Hair."_

"_Unicorn Hair?"_

"_Dragon Heartstring."_

"_Perfect."_

"_Albus?"_

"_Hermione will supply Tom with the information that Harry has secured another wand. Their original wands counter-react each other. It's common knowledge that Unicorn Hair and Dragon Heartstring will do the same."_

"_We will make Voldemort believe that Harry and he will duel with these new wands. When it fails, Voldemort or Harry will supply his original wand, making the connection null and void. It still doesn't make sense." _

"_Harry will finish Tom Riddle off once and for all with the thing that Tom loathes most: The Muggle Sword of Gryffindor." As Albus said this several things slipped into place in my mind and I understood._

"_Then we can bind Voldemort's soul to the blade. Potter will not have to do any intricate spellwork. And Voldemort will never know what hit him."_

"Yes, my lord, this is true."

"You want to know my plans, don't you Severus?"

"I will carry them to the grave, my lord."

"I will get the opposite wand. Dragon Heartstring would do nicely. And while they battle again, I will have my original to finish the boy off. So simple. Potter will assume that he will be able to best me with a different wand and I'll be caught off guard. But not so. With the Dragon Heartstring and the Unicorn Hair balanced again, I'll just retrieve my own and finish him."

"Yes, my lord, you are very wise."

"I need you to produce the wand, Severus. I trust you with this mission of utmost importance. Find out as much information on this new wand as you can. Find anything."

"Yes, my lord."

"You have a class. Go, now."

"I am ever faithful to my lord." I crossed my fist over my heard and bowed, backing back into the fireplace and leaving in a whirl of smoke and flame.

I shook off the dust and walked out of my office. Looking at the clock over the door I read 2:35. The deceptions have begun. I realized then what an insecure line I walked.

Ginny still sat in the chair behind my desk, now reading a book.

"You're still here." I said

She looked up and pulled a pair of wire rimmed glasses off her face, "I was here to talk to you. A little run-in with Voldemort never scares me."

"What did you wish to speak to me about?" I asked, pulling up a chair next to her and sitting in it.

"I'm going tonight to the Order meeting." She said, sighing.

"What?" I gasped, looking at Ginny like she was a madwoman.

"I hate Voldemort as ardently as you do, Sev. It's time to let my petty arguments with Harry stand in the way of aiding my cause."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Although I don't know what my family will say when I get there."

"Would you like me to go as well?"

"If you would like to." Ginny furrowed her brow

"I'll go. Hermione is going as well. It's been five years since we've been in a meeting together. She would find out when I wasn't coming and go then." I laughed under my breath at the ridiculousness of our situation.

"I wanted to tell you first. I don't know what to do about my family."

"We'll hope for the best, then."

Ginny left soon after, a calming draught in one hand and a set look on her face. She would be coming to my chambers at ten-till-eight to floo over after Hermione and I. The fourth years were as dunderheaded as they were on that last Friday. The class did not go by quickly. Very soon after I had locked the classroom and I was making my way home.

I said the password to the suit of armor and stepped past into the foyer. Hermione was busying herself in the kitchen and had some light classical music on.

"Oh, Sev. Hello." She looked at me and smiled. She quickly turned away from me though, to the stove where the kettle was starting to shriek.

"How were your classes today?"

"It was all right. Georgine Walters melted a cauldron again. Other than that, just fine. We did just a basic hair color potion. Lydia Baines came out of the class with violently purple hair. Wouldn't even let me change it back."

"Sounds interesting."

"Assuredly." She responded, taking the pot and two cups to set on the coffee table.

"The Order meeting is tonight. Ginevra will be coming back at ten-till-eight to floo over with us." I sat down on the leather sofa and sipped my tea.

"Ginny is coming?" Hermione looked shocked.

"Yes. She is." I said.

"I wonder how the Weasleys will take it." she mused out loud.

"If there is one toe out of place, that toe will no longer be attached." I growled.

Silence prevailed.

"Bill and Mairwen will be there tonight." Hermione said softly, clearing her throat.

"Understood." I was quiet again for several moments, "So what did you have to talk to me about?"

"I was summoned this morning before my class."

"I was summoned just before the fourth year class."

"Do you think it worked?"

"I hope. Good God, I hope."

"Change if you want, but don't you go and change for me  
I can love you as you are  
I didn't mean to make you want to leave

It's a fight between my heart and mind  
No one really wins this time  
No one really wins this time

If you don't find a love you want  
If I have acted ungracefully  
I don't want to see you go  
I never meant to make you want to leave"

-Copeland


	8. If I Never Knew You

With a great belch the fireplace at the Black house spat me out onto the hearth rug. Lucius came to my side and quickly dusted my shoulders off.

"Severus, how good to see you." Lucius said, leading me into the kitchen. It was just after eight o'clock and from what I could see, most of the order members were already gathered around the table.

"It will be better soon." I replied. Faces jerked up at my arrival. Conversation stilled. They knew that Hermione was to be coming this evening. I cleared my throat, readying myself for the announcement that I was about to make. I removed my wand from my sleeve. "Attention, please."

Fleur Delacour coughed. Fred (or George) Weasley fidgeted with his sleeve. Moody took a drink of his smoking whiskey. A nervous tic hinted in Harry Potter's temple.

"Ginevra Weasley will be joining us tonight." silence remained so I continued, "As you can see, I hold my wand in my hand. Twelve inches, not very springy, made of Mahogany and a core of Dragon Heartstring. I have done terrible things with this wand, as well as pure good. If one foul word, gesture or look is given in Miss Weasley's direction, I will not hesitate to use the most fetid spells or charms I can think of. I think that both Lucius and Draco will agree with me?"

"Wholly agreed with." Draco spoke for both father and son.

"Now who do you think you are, telling us what we can and cannot say to our own blood?" Ron Weasley's head poked into the conversation.

"Your own blood? Start treating her that way and we'll consider your plea." Lucius said, a familiar sneer staining his face.

"Shouldn't you be off to bed, Weasley? I don't think you're allowed to be at the meeting with the grown-ups." Draco's remark was just as biting, if not more.

"In the words of the aforementioned Miss Weasley, 'I hate Voldemort as ardently as you do, Severus. It's time to let my petty arguments with Harry stand in the way of aiding my cause'. Don't you think that's rather true? Remember what I've said: Injure her and you will receive it back tenfold." I sneered as best I could at the group that had gathered. Silence reigned until a lone figure behind me started clapping slowly.

"Bravo, Severus. If you're done with the melodramatics, I think that it's five past eight and high time to start this meeting." Ginny Weasley's face was smiling slightly at me, the sarcastic wit of the Malfoys rubbing off on her. She let me take her cardigan, since it was chillier in my chambers than here in the kitchen. Hermione entered soon after Ginny. She said nothing and silently walked to her place beside Harry. Will a nudge from Mrs. Weasley, Ron was sent upstairs.

Albus stood as I took a seat by Lucius, "I call this meeting of The Order of the Phoenix to order. First piece of business: Hermione Weasley, Severus Snape: Please present the information to the gathered."

I stood, addressing the group, "I believe that Voldemort has taken the bait, so to say. He summoned me soon after two pm this afternoon. He was thrilled with the prospect of knowing our plans."

"I used the proffered story. It took quite a long time for him to get all the details that he wanted. I feel I did my best."

"Sometimes your best is not good enough, Mrs. Weasley. We're not in this for your best, you see. We're in this to win. Because if we don't win, we're out. You're dead, I'm dead. Then we're not any use to the Order at all." I spat these words at Hermione. I was going to go further until Ginny touched my arm. Hermione saw the touch, and what it did. A glower came to her eyes.

"That's enough." Ginny whispered. I sat down as Hermione's face grew redder.

"Slytherin." she said in an undertone.

"I thought we were past that whole house thing."

"We didn't call this meeting for you two to quarrel!" Albus' voice was sharp.

I muttered my apologies as Hermione returned to her seat as well. Albus spoke again, "I have decided that Harry is to carry a dagger instead of the Sword of Gryffindor. This dagger has-"

"Are you out of your bleeding mind!" Harry was on his feet along with several other prominent order members.

"Silence!" I screamed, "You, Harry, of all people should know that Albus knows more than most. Listen to him before you make the judgement."

"As I was saying. Harry will not be carrying the sword for one very special reason. I recently came into the possession of a very strange dagger, which Lucius Malfoy has so graciously given to me." A gunmetal colored dagger and sheath was withdrawn from the pouch hanging at his side. Runic symbols covered the sheath and hilt. At each end of the guard was embedded a single brilliant fire opal. The pommel also had a glittering gem embedded in it's top. "This dagger was used by Tom Riddle to slay his first unicorn. It was given to Lucius in commemoration of twenty years of faithful service. Tom will remember this dagger. There is more threat in a single object than all the spells that Harry could try. Harry simply isn't ready for another duel with him. We will hit him hard and fast, in the way that is most familiar to Harry. Brute force. There will be several spells place on this dagger. I will know when it is lodged in the enemy. I will be standing by to complete the incantation."

"When will the strike occur?" Tonks asked, her violet eyes larger than usual.

"This has not been determined as of yet."

"Where is the incantation being drawn from?" Remus Lupin's question came next.

"It's French in origin. The creator is Acostant Lanouette."

"Fifthteenth century AD. From the Alsace-Lorraine area. He was a very prominent man and wizard in the region. Educated at Hogwarts, I believe?" Hermione said, her eager learning showing to all.

"Brittany." Ginny said.

"What?" Hermione asked, cocking an eyebrow in her direction.

"Lanouette was from Brittany. Wrong side of the country. With a last name like Lanouette, he was of Norman descent. I've not heard of this man in my studies, but by the etymology of the surname, he's from Brittany." Ginny corrected. Hermione's head immediately went to Dumbledore.

"Miss Weasley is correct. Acostant Lanouette was a brilliant wizard from Brittany. I will ask Miss Delacour to help with the verb tenses and such, since she is the native tongue of our group."

"I vould be happy to do eet." The Frenchwoman's head bounced twice in the affirmative.

"I call this meeting to be adjourn. I will see if some tea and biscuits can be procured. I invite you all to stay and enjoy the company of your comrades." Albus closed the meeting abruptly, his eyes twinkling. It finally looks as though he has hope.

The other order members started filing out of the kitchen, talking excitedly amongst themselves. I noticed how much thinner the numbers were now. Gone were Kingsley Shacklebolt and Emmeline Vance. Gone were Sirius and Percy Weasley. Our numbers were thinning and we needed to finish this war.

I sat there at the kitchen table along the long bench on the right side for quite some time. Ginny came by and squeezed my shoulder before she left. Molly poured me a cup of tea. There was much to plan. I snuck a look at my pocket watch some time later. Almost an hour had passed and it was nearing 9:45.

A rumbling noise stirred me from my reverie. The noise had come from the back stairs, only a meter from where I sat. The noise stopped for just a second until it started again, louder and closer.

Rushing up from my seat, I practically leapt to the stairwell. I threw out my arms and there was soon a small weight in them. A brief moment later my eyes were met with a pair of equally dark ones. The little girl's face that encased them was startled, the dark fringed eyes wide and cheeks flushed. Her hair was very straight and quite mussed as well. The color was a very deep black.

_Mairwen. _

I was not allowed a moment to think for as her body came to rest in my arms she let out a high pitched wail. The poor thing had obviously just fallen down the steps. I set the child down on the edge of the table. Then I was quick to grab my wand. Soon the kitchen was warded with an impenetrable charm and it was soundproof.

"Are you all right?" I asked the child. She sniffed, her crying jag over. She nodded. I continued, "Where does it hurt?"

"Right here." Mairwen rubbed at her bottom with the hand that wasn't wiping her eyes.

"Is that how you fell?" I asked. I was crouching now, a little above eye level with her.

"UmmHmmm." she muttered.

"Would you like me to make it better with a spell?" I inquired. She nodded again. I said the required incantation and she smiled up at me.

"Better." she said.

"That's good. Now tell me what you were doing out of bed." I was improvising now, the words feeling odd on my tongue. It had been ages since I had coddled a child.

"I wanted a glass of water. Mummy always brings me a glass of water when she and Bill go to bed for me. That way it's like a present when I wake up and want some. I just have it. But Mummy's still down here and I was thirsty."

_She called him Bill. Sweet Merlin. She called him Bill._

"We can get you a glass of water, all right?" I asked. She nodded and I picked her up from under her arms and placed her on the floor. She skipped over to the cabinets and pulled out three drawers in ascending order, forming steps. She climbed over them and opened a cupboard. She got a glass from the cupboard and placed it on the counter as she climbed down. The glass was soon filled with water from the tap.

She was a small child, with thin arms and legs. Her black hair hung past her shoulder blades in a very untidy braid. There was a thin fringe of hair hanging over her forehead. A pretty child.

She took a sip of water and then extended her right hand to me saying, "My name is Mairwen Elizabeth Granger. My mummy is Hermione Granger. My daddy is a magical elf king that will someday take me away to his kingdom where I will be a princess. Who are you?"

My breathing hitched and tears came to my eyes. I was looking into the eyes of my daughter.

"I'm Severus."

"What's all of your name?"

"Severus Raphael Snape. My mummy was Lilia Snape and my daddy was Raphael Snape."

"I think my Uncle Ron talked about you. He said that if I were to ever meet you I should call you a greasy git and bop you right on the nose. But I don't think that you're very mean. Can I still at least touch your nose so that he's not mad at me?" she asked, her eyes were wide, like Hermione's, and inquisitive like her's too. But the color was all mine.

"I don't think it would hurt. Just so that he's not mad." I smiled, even though there were tears in my eyes. She balled up her little fist and touched the tip of my nose with it. She giggled after she did. I've never heard such a beautiful sound in all my life as my child giggling.

"There you go." she said. "You can bop me if you want." I balled up my much larger fist and touched it to my nose. She laughed and I pulled my hand back.

"Look!" she cried, taking my hand into both of hers, "We have the same fairy bite!"

Indeed it was true, Mairwen and I had identical crescent moon shaped freckles on the webbing of our thumb and index finger on our right hands.

"We share something very special then." I said. I wanted to weep, I wanted to rejoice. I had a child, and this was she.

"You know what? I think you're my daddy, come to take me home."

"Mairwen, you would leave your mummy here?"

"Tell me you're my daddy! See, see, we have the fairy bites. We have the fairy bites!" Mairwen was excited now, jumping up and down with excitement.

I did the only thing I could do. I dropped the enchantments and fled to the sitting room to floo home. Mairwen was on my heels as I ran, yelling about finding her daddy.

Last thing I saw before I disappeared was Mairwen being held back by Hermione and Bill, screaming and reaching for me.

"If I never knew you  
I'd be safe but half as real  
Never knowing I could feel  
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you"

-Pocahontas Soundtrack


	9. Drivel

Lucius followed me through the floo. No sooner than when I was back home, he was behind me. I wasn't even allowed time to assemble my thoughts.

"What did you tell her?" Lucius roared, speaking of Mairwen

"Nothing! I didn't tell her anything!" I yelled back.

"Then how did she know that you were her father?"

"We have matching freckles on our right hands. She saw it. Hermione's been telling her since birth that her real father was an elf king that would come and make her a princess in his kingdom. Mairwen calls him Bill, Lucius. She just knew. And I did the one thing I could do. I fled."

"Why?" Lucius poured me a glass of water and handed it to me. I gratefully drank it down.

"I don't know."

"Mairwen was very upset."

"I know. If only Hermione had stayed, or better yet, taken any of my letters. Mairwen could have had a family. Gods, did you see her? She's a beautiful child! And she's mine, my blood, half of my genetics. I wish Hermione would just come back to me." I slumped down into a wing-back chair by the fire.

"Are you mad?" Lucius asked me as he sat down on the chaise lounge.

"I love her." I said simply

"You're joking." he said drolly

"No! I've always loved her."

"You know, Severus, maybe that's not good enough. I understand that you love her. But maybe you love who she used to be. That Hermione isn't around anymore. Mrs. Weasley is around though, and maybe she could prove to be a valuable friend. But she chose, Severus. Hermione made a choice. She chose Bill. For whatever reason, she chose Bill. Just because you think that the wrong choice was made doesn't give you leeway to try to make it right. These were her choices. And what isn't fair is the both of you have to suffer for it. I'm sorry, Severus. But you can't continue like this."

"And what do you suggest I do?"

"Try someone else. Anyone else. The new Arithmancy professor, June Lightoller. Try Dulce Zabini, try anyone, try Ginny for the sake of all things holy!"

"This is war, Lucius. I don't have the time for such drivel."

"This war is not us. This war is a handicap, a disease if you will. But it is not all-consuming. Don't you think that I would like to venture outside of the Manor, Hogwarts and Number 12? But I can't, because I was found out to be loyal to Dumbledore. We all make choices, Severus. There is always a choice, but you may not always like the consequence. Voldemort wants this, Severus. He wants to suck the joy out of life. Don't let him win. This war is only part of you, just like confinement is a part of me. Minor. There is so much more to life right now. And if you don't take it and experience this drivel," Lucius chuckled a little and then continued, "You might die never knowing it."

zZzZzZzZzZ

So I did what Lucius told me to do. Several school things and Order assignments kept me from doing it for several days, but I finally got around to living. You could say that Ginny got around to doing it, for she had chosen me in actuality. I received her epistle early Friday morning. Per usual, her Hoot Owl, Laurë (Tolkien's Sindarin for Golden) tapped on my bedroom window at about a quarter to seven. I fed Laurë a piece of biscotti before hopped to my footboard to wait for my reply. I unfurled the letter and Ginny's slanted writing met my eyes.

_Dear Severus,_

_I hope this letter finds you well this morning. I'll get right to the point, because I know that you're getting this at about 6:45 and you need your hot shower and cup of coffee before you're an ogre- I mean, human to your students. I was speaking with Lucius last night about something that he had told you to do. You were instructed to get a companion. I figured that I would redeem my date with you a little early. It will get Lucius off of your back. Wipe that scowl off your face (I know you, Severus). I'll be available for pickup after four pm on Saturday, or earlier if really deemed necessary (I've got a little work to catch up on, but nothing that can't wait.). Laurë is still waiting, I assume. She won't return without a dispatch. And Sev, really try to think of something nice, or you won't be getting your goodnight kiss. Maybe pull some strings with that muggle House of Lords._

_love from-_

_Gins_

Foul rat of a girl. I gave the bird a look that said very poignantly 'Wait'. House of Lords, Good Merlin. She just had to bring that up. My family, while not so very pureblooded, was very aristocratic. My father, Raphael Snape, when he was alive held the title of Lord Snape, a title given to my family six generations before. When he married my mother, a Romany Gypsy by the name of Lilia, she became the Lady Snape. When they died, the title reverted to me. I spoke of this only once, during a particularly loathsome night where I was three sheets to the wind and a foot from flammable. Ginevra Weasley has never let me live this fact down.

_Nice? You want nice from Severus Snape? You'll get nice. _

There was still three hours until my first class, so I set to work. First I thumbed through The Prophet looking into the entertainment section. Finding nothing of note, I decided on a different approach. A floo call was made to Draco, asking which spa would be best suited for Ginny. Mignonette was recommended and within a space of a quarter of an hour another call was made, setting up a full body massage, manicure, pedicure, and a hair wash and style. I told them Ginny would be arriving at 4:00. They promised her back to me by 7:00. Next I made a quick floo trip to Gladrags for an outfit. I figured that I could choose a dress as well as any other man. I chose a light matte satin frock, in a light champagne color. It was simple, a sheath dress the woman called it. There were sleeves on the dress that came down to the forearms, neither long or short. The collar was off of the shoulders with a folded down bit along it. It hugged the body all the way to mid-calf. The woman suggested the matching sheer wrap and a pair of shoes. She was getting quite irritating, so I obliged. I didn't know any of Ginny's sizes, so a spell was placed on both the shoes and dress to make them ever-fitting-and-flattering. The next touch was a carriage to pick her up at the salon when she was dressed and presentable. The carriage was arranged to take her from Mignonette to Jean-Luc, the restaurant that we had a 7:30 reservation for. Lucky for me, they had a table for two available. We were seated on the third floor of the building, along the mezzanine. We could look down to where the jazz orchestra would be playing that night. There would be dancing after the last course, and maybe a glass of wine or two. Ginny would be home by midnight.

The last thing left to do was write a reply to Ginny.

_Ginny-_

_I'll be coming for you at 4:00 tomorrow evening. This package is not _

_to be opened until at least 7:00. How this will be accomplished, you will _

_see tomorrow. You wanted nice, you've gotten nice. _

_-Severus_

I sat down and poured myself another cup of coffee.

_I hope I'm doing the right thing. It's ridiculous how badly I want to move on from Hermione. And I have to think of a way to convince Hermione to let me into Mairwen's life. _

"Blue Jean baby

LA lady

seamstress for the band

pretty eyed, pirate smile

she'll marry a music man

ballerina, you must'a seen her

dancing in the sand…"

-Sir Elton John


	10. Of Rain and Dates

A/N: Just to let you know, you'll probably be inundated with chapters in the following week or so. I, at the age of 19 had succumbed to a case of the chickenpox.

Dawn revealed a balmy October morning on Saturday. There was a nice red and orange and pink dawn over the lake. I took my time getting dressed and bathed. My hair had already dried; I was on my second cup of tea and three-quarters through The Daily Prophet when I heard the bath start to run in Hermione's room at 9:30. The mail had just come through the window when Hermione emerged from her bedroom, face fink from her bath. She smiled hesitantly at me. She knew I was still angry over the Mairwen debacle. I gestured to the chair across from mine. The sun was streaming in from the wide picture window behind me. The table in front of me was an antique, a small oval red cherry table, that came from my Great-Aunt Genevieve's chateau. The surface was lightly scratched with age. Hermione did in fact take the seat across from mine. I laid the mail to the side, a letter from Ginny on the top. Another cup of tea was poured for Hermione and she sipped it gratefully after dropping 2 cubes of sugar into the steaming liquid. We sat in amicable silence, I with the editorials page, Hermione with the entertainment section.

"Oh, Severus," She said suddenly. Startled, I sloshed my tea onto my lap, "My! I'm so sorry!" She jumped up and ran into the kitchen for a towel. I heard several drawers slam in her wake.

"Here you are," she said, holding out a blue towel to me, "I'm sorry for startling you."

I looked up at her, my lap pristine from my _scrougify_, "It's quite all right." Even fifteen odd years as a witch she was still a muggle-born witch. "What is it you were raving about?"

"I just saw that Margot Von Esse will be speaking from six to eight this evening at Flourish and Blott's. We should go. I should like to stop by the Apothecary, see how the ledgers are running. We could even get dinner?"

My face was stoic, I could tell, "I cannot accompany you this evening, Mrs. Weasley, I have a prior engagement. Your husband fancies potions and alchemy, does he not? I am assured that he would care for a date with his wife."

She was wounded looking when she spoke again, "We are friends, are we not?"

"No, Mrs. Weasley, we're not. We used to be lovers and before that friends. But circumstances have forced us apart."

"Is that how you want it?"

I sighed, my hand coming to pinch between my eyes, trying to relieve the tension headache that was starting, "Hermione, when you came back two months ago you had no inkling to even acknowledge my presence. What has changed?"

"I remembered my time with you, Severus."

"But that's not good enough, Hermione! You came around when I stopped yearning for the old Hermione. When you stopped being coveted, remember?"

"Am I not allowed to miss you?" She was defensive and I knew I wasn't going to win this time.

"You are," I said, "you are."

"Then come walk with me? Hagrid has two hippogriff foals. I haven't seen one since Buckbeak and he was an adult, not a foal. Suppose we go down and see them?"

Trounced, I gave my consent and after we donned cloaks we set our course for Hagrid's. When we got there, Fang jumped on Hermione and licked her face. I gave the dog a scathing look and he took his ministrations elsewhere. Hagrid was quick to show us to the pen where they were kept and was called away just a moment later when Professor Sprout came up asking for some Flesh-Eating Slug Repellant.

The two foals were splendid. One had slate gray feathers, his eyes a similar shade of steely gray. His name was Tiberius and his sister's name was Dorcas. Dorcas, on the other hand, was pale reddish-brown in color. She seemed sweeter upon inspection.

"Here, Severus, I'll go first." Hermione said, opening the gate to their enclosure. She entered slowly and bowed low to the ground even slower. She made eye contact with Tiberius and after several long moments he gave her a grudging bow, complete, but none the less grudgingly. As she held her hand out to Tiberius I walked into the corral. My bow was received better than Hermione's because Dorcas immediately bowed back to me and took several tentative steps in my direction. Soon she batted me on the shoulder with her head. Her head, even as a baby, was very large, perhaps the size of three quaffles. She stood about five feet ten inches, just barely as tall as I.

Hermione laughed, her face shining as Tiberius tossed his great head in affection. I looked over at her and she tucked an arrant curl behind her ear and smiled at me as well.

_Hermione smiled at me. It was cool and overcast where we walked behind the lake on the edge of the forest. _

"_It's starting to rain, Hermione." I looked over at her. Our conversation had lulled some time back and now we were just enjoying each other's company. It had been a long day of meetings upon research upon meetings. Hermione and I found solace in each other's knowledge, for our research was tedious. It was still hard to look at her and not see my student, but a woman in her own right. Only several months dissuaded my pupil-mentor thoughts. _

"_So it is." she said, the mist and humidity from the sky making her hair curl more than usual. _

"_Don't you think we aught to go back?" _

"_I think not." she said simply. _

"_Don't be daft, we'll be soaked."_

"_I know."_

_Moments later her hands were at the front of my frock coat, her fingers worrying the little black cloth covered buttons along the front. _

"_What are you doing?" I demanded, taking a step back from her_

"_I'm unfastening your coat. It'll get heavy when the rain comes."_

"_I'm sure we can make it back before the rain comes."_

"_I want to be in the rain. And I'm sure you wouldn't go back without me." She placed her fingers on the top button and gently unfastened it. Her soft, slender fingers caressing my unguarded throat made me gasp. I allowed her to unfasten the rest, my heart racing. She unbuttoned my cuffs and slid the coat from my shoulders. I was left in a green cambric shirt and trousers. She put my coat and her shoes on a nearby bench. _

"_Come," she said, "leave your shoes here." _

_I did as she said. The rain finally started as a slow drizzle, our hair wet and streaming. _

"_What is the meaning of this?" I asked as she caught my hand in one of her little ones. _

"_You're going to learn to have fun, Severus Snape."_

"_I know very well how to frivol." I said staunchly_

"_Right." she didn't sound convinced. The rain quickened. The thin, gauzy blouse Hermione wore was soon soaked and clinging to her breasts and the gentle curve of her belly. Reaching up to me she quickly brushed a kiss across my cheek, yelling, "Tag! You're it!"_

_She took off running beside the lake. She looked back when she realized that I wasn't following, "You're supposed to catch me, silly!" she yelled over a clap of thunder. _

_I obliged, darting after her as she made her way around trees and benches. I caught up to her quickly, my stride outpacing hers. When I caught her I grabbed her around the middle, she struggled and then relented. I was about to claim her mouth as mine in our first kiss when a mischievous glint came into her brown eyes. In quick succession I was toppled from where I was standing into the lake and subsequently spitting water out of my mouth. _

"_Hermione!" I roared, scampering up onto the bank. I caught her soon again and in she went. _

"_You!" she called, laughing. She grasped the hand that I had proffered when she made her way to the shore. She pulled me in with her as soon as her hand was in mine. _

"_Hermione." I said, wiping hair out of her eyes as we stood waist deep in water and waist up in the rain. _

"_Yes, Severus?" Her eyes were inquisitive and beautiful. _

"_I want to kiss you, Hermione. May I?" I asked, my voice low and purring as I raised my inquiry. _

"_Yes." My mouth was on hers as soon as the word was from her lips. And oh! What sweet lips were they! Plump and soft, they were heaven embodied. _

I could not kiss Hermione now.

zZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

Six o'clock came around quickly. Draco found me in my bedroom at fifteen after six staring blankly into my closet.

"Long time, no date?" Draco said, popping his head in.

"Hello to you too, Draco." I scowled as best I could at him. I couldn't for long though, the day had been pleasant and I had conversed with Hermione for a while about the state of Mairwen and my relationship with her. Nothing was decided yet, but she did concede that I had a right to see my child.

"Figured that I could be of some service?"

"Yes, yes. Just pick something so that I can get this dratted thing over with." I grumbled, pulling on a pair of socks. I stood clad in my underwear and now a pair of socks.

"You're really not happy about tonight?" Draco asked me, his face questioning

"Ginny is a lovely woman and I should be glad to escort her." I said, pointing to a green shirt. Draco gave me a look and he pointed to a little worn red shirt that Hermione had given me.

"You should be. She is magnificent." Draco gave up on the shirt for the moment and pulled a pair of black trousers for me. I eyed them carefully.

"These are from years ago, I'm assured that they will not fit."

"Put them on." Draco's voice was stern and I put them on. They were tighter than the usual trousers I wore, but Draco nodded enthusiastically his approval.

"Don't you think I'm a little old for tight pants, Draco?" I asked, surveying them in the mirror.

"Severus, you are a wizard. Everyone in the muggle world will think you no more than thirty-five. Jean-Luc is muggle, correct?"

"Yes, but I think they're too tight."

"Severus. You're about six feet tall, so tall. You've black hair that's long, so dishy and dark. You've a nice physique, not bulky but nicely toned, so I would say handsome. Tall, dark and handsome. Run with it."

"Fine. And what do you suggest for the top half then?" I sighed, secretly vain.

"I suggest this: Wear this shirt and I'll be back in just a moment." He handed me a black on black woven shirt, it's French cut impeccable once on. I had just buttoned the cuffs around my wrists when he was back. A subtle, but royal blue velvet blazer was in his hand. I grimaced but once he had forced it over my shoulders I was pleased with the outcome.

"Thank you, Draco." I said, looking at my watch. 6:44, "I aught to be going."

"Not with hair like that." he said, gesturing to my head.

"Fine. Do something then." I sighed, looking at my watch again. Draco muttered several charms under his breath and I looked in the mirror when he was done. He looked at me in the reflection, expression smug and arms crossed.

"What's so different?" I asked innocently. His affronted look was enough for me. I chuckled and thanked him for putting my hair to rights.

"You look nice." Draco offered.

"Thank you. But I really must be going." I smiled again.

"Severus," I stopped at the sound of Draco's voice from going to the fireplace, "Please try to forget Hermione tonight."

"We go a party  
And everyone turns to see  
This beautiful lady  
Thats walking around with me  
And then she asks me  
Do you feel alright  
And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight"

-Eric Clapton


	11. Vertigo

This chapter is for Julie from my creative writing class and Inness my Beta. You girls rock my fanfiction world.

Moments later I was in Gay Paree, the sun just setting this much further east. I oriented myself to where I was standing and soon I was walking at a quick pace towards the _Le cheval et Attelaige Logent, _Or, The Horse and Carriage House. My bill was settled with the clerk and I was sitting aboard a dark wooden carriage, the burgundy velvet cushy against my posterior and back. The driver was an old woman named Delphine who chattered with me affably about her love for horses and the lessons that I was made to take as a child. I appreciated them later, of course because I was an expert horseman now. She and I conversed in French, as she did not speak English and I was fairly fluent in her native tongue. She trotted the two horses (Named _Roméo_ and _Juliette_) along the cobblestones alone the Seine. It was not far now to Mignonette where Ginny was being pampered. Moments passed as the sun slipped over the horizon and the great monstrous building that loomed ahead, resplendent in it's great limestone walls was the salon. A painful expression of femininity and I sent Ginny there for several hours.

I smacked myself on the forehead. Flowers. Women like flowers. Great, the carriage was slowing to a halt under the port of Mignonette. Well, I had no choice. I was in Muggle Paris so I could not conjure flowers, all was lost. I helped myself down off of the carriage and the bellman showed me inside. I was lost in a sea of rich fabrics and frou frou chintz lounges and everything feminine, the colors muted pastels, apple green, rose, lilac and periwinkle. I was shown to the front desk and the woman recognized me from the previous visit. I was shone up the grand staircase into a hallway lined with doors. The third on the left was my destination.

The clerk left me and disappeared back down the steps. I leaned my forehead against the white frame of the door and sighed.

_Hermione looked resplendent when she came to the door. Her cheeks were rosy and body flushed from excitement. I took her arm and led her out of the dungeons whilst exclamations of joy bubbled from her mouth about the delicate lilies that I had brought her. _

_She stepped out of the main entrance before me, the blue fabric of her dress clinging to her waist and hips. I put my hand in the small of her back to guide her comfortably. She smelled of her familiar scent and I breathed it in, the natural eau de Hermione mixed with the fragrant lilies and a lotion I did not recognize. She gazed up at me, her eyes sparkling and deep brown. _

I shook myself, clearing my mind of the memory. I straightened myself once again and gave three swift, sharp knocks to the wood. Within moments the door was being opened. Ginny only poked her head out, shielding the rest of her body with the door.

"Come in!" she said, "I don't want you to gawk at me out in the hallway."

I obliged and entered the room. Apple green and white were the colors du jour it seemed, for the whole room was done in just that palate. I looked back as Ginny closed the door. It seemed I was right about the color; it mixed with her peaches and cream skin impeccably.

"You seem well this evening." I commented, sitting comfortably on the settee.

"I feel glorious, Severus." She smiled at me

"Well, let me see my handiwork, come, come, turn about slowly for me." I said. She obliged, giggling at first. She did look gorgeous, her hair left down around her shoulders and back. It was very sleek and shiny, the red mane going down to her hips. The dress looked amazing as well, but I believe that was the ever-flattering-and-fitting charm more than my selection. The sleeves fit like a second skin and the excess cloth from the collar was graceful and soft about her shoulders and breasts. The dress fit excessively well, outlining her soft, willowy curves. Her legs were set off to best advantage by the shoes that the saleswoman had selected. They were very small heels so that she would not dwarf me and the same fabric and color as the dress. They had done something to her face, however that I did not approve of.

"Well, Miss Weasley, you look delicious. But what did they do with your freckles?" I asked, lightly perturbed that those endearing marks were gone.

She gave me a look, "Well, they scraped them all off and put them in a little jar."

"Well then for Merlin's sake, get that jar so that we can put them back. Although I don't know how I could possibly get them in the right place. Would your mother know better?" I asked, feeling slightly apprehensive at the task ahead of me.

"Severus Snape! They're still here, come closer. I'll make them show if you'd like." she laughed

"Then where is this jar?" I gave her a quizzical look.

"There was no jar. It was a joke." She laughed again. I approached her and cautiously looked at the skin on her face. They were there, but very lightly. She walked to the vanity on the wall and drew out a facial tissue and poured an unidentifiable liquid onto it. She rubbed at her cheeks and nose for a few moments and then rubbed at her face for another few. She turned back to me. Upon closer inspection I realized that the freckles were back, much to my relief.

"Good, I think they should stay." I said, settling back again.

"Don't get too comfortable, you have dinner to take me to."

I did get up then and opened the door for Ginny who walked out graciously. I offered her my arm and she took it as we made our way back down the grand staircase.

"You look nice, Severus." Ginny commented as I held the door outside for her.

"Thank you. I cherish a compliment from such a beautiful lady." What was I spouting? I'm not a romantic.

"You got me a carriage?" Ginny asked, petting the muzzle of one of the pair of horses.

"Yes. Now let me help you in because we've got reservations." She stuck her tongue out at me in a very unladylike fashion and proceeded to help herself into the carriage. I joined her on the same side and with a jerk we were off again down the Seine.

"This is so nice, Severus, I didn't expect all of this. When Draco escorted me through the floo I thought that you might have forgotten and Draco was taken me instead. But he led me to Mignonette and it was heavenly being so pampered. But they got rid of my quidditch calluses. I could have killed the manicurist!"

"I live to serve. And you said you wanted nice…so you got nice."

"I was only joking! You silly man!" She laughed. I did laugh then, more because Ginny was pleased than out of humor.

Soon Ginny stepped from the carriage in front of Jean-Luc with her hand in my offered one. My other hand caught in the small of her back conducted her through the door.

"_Bonjour monsieur, nous avons une réservation sous le nom de Snape_." I said, announcing our presence to the host and telling him of our reservation.

"_Oui, nous l'avons pour deux dans la mezzanine_?"

"_Oui." _

We were led up the stairs to the second floor. The lighting was low and rich, the pewter wall sconces lit the stairwell. The burnt in the muggle way, illuminating the cerulean blue and silver patterned wall paper. The white and silver wainscoting and chair rails matched the sculpted silver pewter banister and rails. We were led to the right at the landing and directed several tables down. We were against the right wall with a private balcony with a settee and chair across the aisle to our left.

"This is beautiful!" Ginny gushed as I pulled out her chair for her.

"I tend to like it." I said. I turned to our waiter and spoke again, "_Une bouteille de votre 1955 Cabernet Savignon, s'il vous plait._"

"_Merci." _

"I had no idea that you were such a linguist." Ginny complimented.

"I'm assured that I have many unknown talents."

"I know of some. You forget that Hermione was my best friend for a good many years."

I flushed and we were silent for a moment.

"Oh, we're doing this all wrong, aren't we?" Ginny asked.

"We might be. But how to go about this correctly eludes me." I confessed.

"Maybe we aught to skip the small talk. We, as humans, date for one reason, am I correct?"

"To look for a potential mate, a harmonious interaction with utmost possibility for procreation?" A nod was given, "Then yes, you assume correctly."

"Let's assume you and I are on an interview. An interview for potential mates."

"Then let us conduct an experiment." I muttered under my breath and two of my forks became ball points and our napkins into small sheets of paper. I gave Ginny back her napkin-turned-paper and pen. "I propose we make an evaluation of values. I'll put forward the first question. In one column I'll put a shorthand version of the question and to its right the answer. All right?"

"A very practical proposition, Severus." She smiled largely and me and pulled her hair back off her shoulders into a loose knot at the base of her skull.

"First Question: do you prefer to reside in the country or the city?" I quickly jotted down city/country and beside it: country.

"Next question," Ginny started, "Perfect number of children." Children: 3. My turn.

"Sleeping arrangements: Nightshirts or in the nude." Sleeping Arrange.: Depends on the warmth of the room.

"Risqué. Number four: number of alcoholic beverages consumed during an average night out." Drinks: Never more than 3

"Speaking of drinks," I said, "The wine is coming. We'll have to order."

"You come here fairly often?"

"Yes?"

"Order for me please. You'll know better than I. I obliged her request, ordering two servings of steak frites done at medium rare with asparagus. The first course was to be a house salad, followed by a potato soup and then the steak and a scoop of sorbet to cleanse the palate and a chilled raspberry soup for dessert.

"Your turn." she said.

"Thank you. Any very odd quirks I should know about?" I wrote Quirks: Always wash dishes manually. On an afterthought I added nightmares to the list.

"Number six: Are you interested in owning a pet?"

"It has been my experience that pets usually own their masters."

"You know what I mean." she chided.

"I do." I wrote that any of the above I'd be all right with: horses, cats, large dogs or fish.

I poured Ginny a glass of wine, the burgundy liquid sparkling in rich jewel tones in the cut crystal goblets. As she sipped I contemplated my next question.

"Monogamy is expected, but monogamy with a lover on the side is not frowned upon. What are you feelings on the matter?" Monogamy: A must.

"Large wedding or small?" I didn't hesitate to write small. Ginny spoke again, "Let's review these eight before the salads arrive. I assume that we'll gather a rather large amount of insight."

"Very Well. City or country?"

"Village. Close enough to walk to the grocer or deli or café but far enough away from the madness of the city."

"I thought not near as much. Simply country although village sounds quite appealing."

"Number of children? I said under three. I didn't like such a large family."

"I was an only child and I always wished I had an older brother to take care of me and a little sister to baby."

"Quite simple." She said, "Sleeping arrangements?"

"I do as the environment dictates. Although nothing is better than a nice warm bed around your nude body as the fire crackles." I said.

"I skew my environment to meet my needs. I haven't slept in clothes for years. It would be odd to sleep with a partner though. I haven't in years either."

"I have not in just as long." I looked over an smiled softly at Ginny. We were both rusty.

"Alcoholic beverages?" she asked.

"Never more than three, usually."

"In an average night, usually one or less. But then there are nights where it feels good just to get smashingly drunk." She confessed. I expressed sentiments of the same.

"Odd quirks?" I asked.

"A fondness for peanut butter and honey sandwiches, trashy romance novels and silent movies. I'm sure we share the same quirk of nightmares."

I gave my assent and told her that I had to wash all the dishes manually every time. She laughed and I poured her another few fingers of wine.

"Pets? I'm rather fond of Greyhounds, I'd like to have one or two someday."

"I'm an adept horseman, so I'd like a few horses and I'm not adverse to anything other than small yippy dogs." I shuddered in distaste.

"Monogamy, yes or no."

"Yes, it's a must." I said.

"I assumed as much. A yes for me as well."

"Large weddings are bothersome." I said, answering the next question without prelude.

"Agreed." She said, laughing.

Our salads were brought post haste, followed quickly by the soup course and main entrée. Ginny ate delicately the salad and soup, merely picking at them, as I did to save room, so to speak, for the entrée and dessert. The steak frites were brought out and placed in front of us.

"This smells delicious." Ginny commented.

"Wait until you taste it." I said, cutting into my steak. I took a bite and then sopped up some au jous from the side of the steak with one of the potatoes. Ginny looked at me strangely when I did this.

"What are you doing?" she asked after finishing her bite of steak.

"Try it." I gently picked up two or three fries and got them nice and saturated in the juices. I shook the excess off and reached across the table for Ginny to take them. She ate the offered bite in my hand, a small amount of juice going down her chin. She laughed and wiped it off as I brushed my fingertips across my napkin to rid them of the surplus juice. I laughed as well, pouring myself another glass of wine. We sat back soon later, nicely sated from our eating. The sorbet had been of the pineapple variety and the raspberry soup deliciously tart and sweet at the same time.

"Come." Ginny said, putting her napkin on the chair as she got up. She held out her hand to me expectantly. I took it and she led me across the aisle to our balcony. Royal blue fabric swagged the alcove and rich white carpets lay below our feet. A wide curved railing edged the balcony and overlooked the band. I gestured to Ginny to wait a moment and grabbed the bottle of wine and goblets. I joined her on the settee and we sat nicely, sipping our wine. I was on my second glass and Ginny was still nursing the first that I had refilled halfway once.

_"I've not danced in ages." Hermione said as I held out my hand to her. _

_"It's just you and I." I said. She accepted and I led her to the floor. Fred and George Weasley and their new wives danced near us. Olivia and Marita looked beautiful in white dresses and Fred and George looked handsome in their matching roves. _

_"But everyone's here." She said. _

_"No, no Hermione. Close your eyes. Just you and I." _

"Dance with me." I said.

"What?" she asked

"I asked you to dance with me."

"Really?" her eyes lit up.

"Please."

"All right." she said. I extended my hand to her and she took it. I tucked her arm into the crook of mine and we walked down the stairs towards the dance floor. A rousing swing number was on and I groaned. It just had to be swing on. I pulled Ginny close and I heard her exhale quickly.

"Severus." She breathed.

"Just let me lead you." She nodded and off we went. My hand to her waist, hers to my shoulder, our right and left joined. The quick dance was followed with a smooth jazz number were we danced clinging, sweat on our brows. "You're a wonderful dancer."

"Thank Narcissa. Although she made me lead quite a lot." she said. I brushed an wayward hair from her brow.

"Remind me too next time." We continued dancing. For a moment Ginny seemed lost in her thoughts until I spoke again, "Where are you?"

"Several blocks down by now." She said, turning her attention back to me.

"What were you thinking of?" I asked

"Hermione and you." She said. I moved to speak and she shushed me, "I understand Severus. I really do. I'm not going to ask you to keep taking me out. Not because I've not had a wonderful time or for lack of interest on my part, but I worry that while Hermione's still on your brain there'll never be room for me."

"Ginny, I don't know what to say. I do care for you. I do think you're beautiful and I desire you. But you are right. I'm afraid that I can't give you what you need. And Gods, I'm so sorry." I said.

"Just kiss me once. Not out of pity of our failure to launch relationship, but just because you're thinking of me as a woman. Please." She said, her wide eyes pleading with me.

"Happy to oblige." I said. I dipped my head down softly and soon my lips were on her mouth. Her mouth tasted of salt and skin and they were soft against mine. I let them linger, feeling the supple skin. Her moist, pink tongue dipped against the tender flesh on the inside edge of my bottom lip. I allowed the access and touched the tip of my tongue to hers. She shuddered and I pulled her closer, allowing my arms to embrace her fully. She broke off the kiss panting and shaking, clutching me close.


	12. Samhain Plans

Sunday dawned cold as I lay awake in my bed. The room was chilly and there was a dark October storm brewing outside my windows. I had slept in, the hour being after eleven. This was the latest I'd slept in for months. Ginny had left soon after we finished dancing, walking by herself to the nearest apparation station. I stayed another several hours, not at Jean-Luc, but in Knockturn Alley where I had Flooed to. My promise of less than three drinks a night was shattered and I consumed around eight or so firewhiskies and ended up flooing back home at four in the morning. I cursed the light from the window and put a hand to my aching head.

No sooner had I taken a hangover potion, my forearm began to burn. It was time to grovel. I swore extremely loudly and pulled on my robes, the silver mask I wore in my hand.

"Hermione!" I yelled, peeking out into the living room. She came from her room in similar attire.

"Summoned?" She asked.

"How did you know?"

"I heard you screaming profanities." She said. We walked to the fireplace and with a rush of green flame we were gone.

"I am ever faithful to my lord." We intoned.

"Rise, Severus. Rise, Hermione." Voldemort said. We did so, noting that the room was empty save the trio of us. "I want the strike to occur on Samhain."

"Samhain? That's only two weeks from today." Hermione frowned.

"Samhain is a very powerful night. Magic is high and the irony of killing Potter on the day I should have twenty five years ago is priceless."

"As you wish." I said, "Where is the attack to be held?"

"On the lands of Hogwarts. The mudbloods there will fall prey to the greater purging of the blood line." Hermione remained quiet after the Dark Lord's dictation. I could sense her distaste of the comment.

"As you wish." She finally said.

"Severus. You will play traitor until the very end. You will be with Dumbledore as I storm the castle. l give you the gift of killing the old fool."

"My lord, you are wise, but I wonder what will become of the students. Many are not even worth killing, it will just decrease our manpower and a simple _petrificus totalus _from a second year could take down an experienced soldier of our ranks. Surely it would be better to send the students home under a mysterious virus or problem. That way the little brat's parents can be killed in their own homes with them." Hermione asked, bracing herself for a crucio.

The crucio never came though, but even worse, a harsh laugh permeated the room, "You make an excellent point, my pet." Voldemort was smiling, "Get the pesky rats out of our way. Any way necessary."

"Yes, my lord."

"Severus. The wand. I want it soon. You have more information on the wands?"

"Yes, my lord. Potter intends upon using the Avada Kedavra curse."

"No subtlety, that one." Voldemort replied, gleefully.

"None at all."

"Remember, I want that wand."

"It is already being made by a Belgian wand maker under the ruse that I've had an accident where my wand was snapped. Should be ready in mere days."

"Excellent. Be gone."

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Floo calls were made, owls were sent. Four o'clock rolled around and the entire Order of The Phoenix was in the kitchen. I took my seat beside Ginny, Draco to my left.

"I'm sorry about last night." Ginny leaned over and whispered to me, "I really did have an amazing time."

"I understand." I said, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Hermione knows that we went out last night." she confessed.

"How?"

"I got a little vindictive with her. She deserved it, I promise. I told her your lips were soft and you were a good dancer."

"Ginevra." I growled.

"Leave me alone."

"I call this meeting of The Order of the Phoenix to order. I call Severus Snape and Hermione Weasley. This emergency meeting is their doing."

"Voldemort has bought the story completely." Hermione said. General happiness abounded.

"The new wand for Voldemort is already being made as we speak in Belgium."

"Ze incantation is juzt about redee, Don't you zik so, Albuz?" Fleur said, looking up at Albus, "Maybe juzt anuzzer couple of weeks, no?"

"We don't have weeks." I said. The crowd silenced.

"What do you mean?" Harry demanded

"I mean that Voldemort intends on striking on Halloween." I said gravely.

"Halloween!" Remus cried, getting to his feet, "We'll never be prepared by Halloween!"

"What of the children of Hogwarts?" Molly asked, pulling Bill closer to her.

"They will be evacuated. Several drops of a modified flu potion should send them into a mild influenza for at least two weeks. Once half the population has gotten it, we'll shut down temporarily for it to run its course." Hermione said.

"When can this potion be ready?" Albus asked

"In mere hours." Hermione said.

"Immediately." Albus growled. Hermione jumped up from her chair, grabbing Bill and I to come with her.

"You're both very good at what you do. I want your help." She explained as we walked into the sitting room to floo back to Hogwarts.

"Impertinent chit. I should be asking your help. I am the master, am I not?" I was seething.

"Don't speak to my wife that way." Bill said, stepping in front of Hermione.

"Don't act like you're my daughter's father." I retorted.

"Listen, if you'd been around for the past five years maybe I would have given you the chance." Bill said, pointing his finger at me.

"What makes you think that I haven't tried? Would you like to see all the letters I tried to send and Hermione wouldn't answer?" I asked

"Let's just get to Hogwarts." Hermione pleaded, stepping between the two of us.

"No, Hermione, we're going to settle this here." I said, looking Bill square in the eye.

"There's nothing to settle, Snape. You're an old washed up lonely bastard and I got the girl. I was there for her when you weren't! I bet you haven't even been laid since then. Hermione even said your cock was-"

"Gigantic." Ginny cut in, coming into the room, "His cock was gigantic. Yes, Bill, your own little sister."

"Get out of here Ginevra, it's not your business." He said, looking back to me.

"Au Contrare, brother, it is my business. When you insult the manhood of the gentleman that fucked me for a solid four hours last night, it is my battle." I gaped at Ginny, my mouth hanging open like a dying fish.

"Ginny! Who would have thought that you would sink to such a level? Snape, outside." Bill said, rolling up his shirt sleeves. I did the same, exposing the dark mark.

"Wizard's duel, Weasley?" I asked, showing him the mark, "I promise you that you will loose. I have years and mastery on you. Do not even try. Perhaps you could best me in a muggle fist fight, eh? Seems about your class."

"Severus. Bill. This isn't the way to handle this." Hermione said, still between us.

"Like hell. I hate to mess up such a _nice _nose, but I think I can make an exception." Bill said, snorting in my direction. It was too bad to see a prized student wanting to fight me. And to mess up such a pretty face. I didn't care a moment later when his fist connected with my jaw though. The throbbing pain in my mouth didn't even faze me as I lunged forward at him, tackling him to the ground. Bill was younger than I by six years, but they really didn't seem to make much of a difference. When his back united with the floor I was on top of him instantly, raining punches down upon his face. What I did though, that Bill did not, was pull my punches. Bill struggled and I felt Hermione pulling on my shoulders. My final blow before Dumbledore petrified us both was a shot directly to the nose, causing it to break.

"What is going on?" Albus' voice was deadly quiet and I realized then why my former master feared him so.

"Bill attacted Severus." Ginny said drolly.

"Severus provoked Bill." Hermione said.

"Bill insulted Severus' manhood." Ginny retorted

"Severus is an asshole." Hermione said, glaring at me.

"Yes, isn't he just?" Albus said, looking over the two of us tangled together. He didn't move to lift the spell. Moments later he did lift it and Severus was pulled back from Bill by Lucius and Bill was picked up by Arthur Weasley.

"I warned you once what I would do if you insulted Ginevra. Consider the broken nose to be a first strike." I whispered, sneering. I looked over at Hermione, her face sad but serene. "Don't follow Mrs. Weasley, I'm sure I'm capable of brewing a simple potion by myself."


	13. Preparations

A note to my dear readers:

I understand that you might not really like what's going on in this fic, but I expect some respect out of you. I've gotten several reviews saying that they are going to stop reading this story soon because of the pairings that may or may not happen. Other than that I want to thank my awesome cool constant readers-reviewers. You guys really make my day.

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Upon returning to my chambers I quickly walked over to the large wall calendar in my personal study. The date was October 12. Nineteen days to Halloween. Nineteen days to get my life in order. Nineteen days to get my assets straightened. Nineteen days to write a final will and testament.

I quickly summoned a pot of fresh, strong tea and two cups. I poured myself one and into the teapot went three drops of Veritaserum. There were things that I needed to know from Hermione. She followed me as I knew she would. I counted down the seconds from 120 to 17 when I finally heard the rush of the floo. I braced myself for the onslaught.

She barged through the door to my study seconds later, already speaking, "You slept with Ginny."

"I might have." I said, pulling Gringott's ledgers from my desk. I poured her a cup if Veritaserum laced tea for her and she accepted.

"Did you sleep with Ginny?"

"I don't see how that would be any of your business. Why, are you jealous?" I asked.

The Veritaserum was quick to enact and she answered me candidly, "Yes."

"Well, I'm not really sorry."

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking puzzled at the papers after another moment

"I'm going over my assets." I said

"Why?"

"Because it is likely that I will die in nineteen days."

"Don't talk that way!" She cried

"Hermione, I need to know some things." I responded

"What do you need to know?" she asked

I warded the doors so that she could not get out.

"_Expelliamus_." Her wand was in my hand before she could register what was going on.

"What is going on!" she yelled, getting up from the chair across from mine.

"I slipped you Veritaserum. I need to know the truth. You'd bloody best sit down and make this easier on the both of us. I don't want to have to tie you up." She was obedient and I knew it wasn't because of the potion.

"All right." She sighed.

"Who is the father of your daughter, Mairwen Elizabeth?"

"You are." She said, looking away.

"And you know this for sure?"

"I do."

"Did you take a paternity test?"

"Yes."

"And why did you do that?"

"Because someone else could have been the father."

"Who?"

"Harry."

"I already knew. How does that make you feel, to know that I never confronted you about it and made you tell me?"

"Like a whore." Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she looked at me defiantly

"And have you been faithful to your husband?"

"In body, besides from the kiss with you, yes. Mentally, never."

"Do you love me?"

"I never stopped."

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October 13

8 am: The wand arrived from Belgium.

12 pm: The wand is in the hands of Tom Riddle

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October 14

8 am: The potion is put into the morning pumpkin juice

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October 19

3 pm: At least half of the students are sick

8 pm: The train pulls into the station, which is where I begin again.

"Professor?" Leona McArthur, head girl and seventh year Slytherin stopped to talk with me as I escorted the ill and potentially ill children to the train. With here were six other Slytherins, Elinor Light, Amanda Northington, Aubrey Lazzo, Spencer Jackson, Ruben McNair, and Victor Bell.

"Yes, Miss McArthur?"

"We can't go on the train." Aubrey Lazzo, a sixth year boy said

"And why not, Mr. Lazzo?" I was becoming exasperated.

"We just can't. May we talk to you in private? If you then think we should go home, we'll floo there, all right?" Ruben McNair said, "Besides, Dumbledore already gave us amnesty. We just wanted your opinion. It has to do with all of our parents."

I was flooded with anxiety. Light, Northington, Lazzo, Bell, McNair, McArthur, Jackson- All death eater families.

"Are you able to show me your forearms in public?" Five arms snaked out of their robes discreetly and they were all blank.

"Miss Light?" The girl in question broke down in tears then and Miss Northington and Mr. Lazzo hurried to comfort her.

"Please, sir, let's get back to the castle."

"How do I know that you are genuine?"

"There has been an unbreakable vow placed on each of us that we are on the side of light." Miss McArthur explained, "Dumbledore, after binding each of us informed us that you have also taken the vow and you could be trusted."

"Very well."

By the end of the day there were seven more order members. Six of them, excluding Elinor Light were put to use immediately. Northington, Bell, McArthur and Jackson were put to use on Neville Longbottom's medic squad. Lazzo and McArthur were put to work readying supplies and bedding for the Order members and the Aurors that would start flooding in on the 28th, 29th and 30th of October.

Eleven Days.

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Mairwen was brought to Hogwarts on October 23. My child.

"Hello, Mairwen, do you remember me?" I asked, kneeling down in the great hall

"Of course I remember you, silly. You and I've got matching fairy bites."

"Yes ma'am, we do." I laughed and brushed hair out of her face.

"Now I need to know, are you my Daddy?" She asked, her expression very matter-of-fact. I looked up at Hermione for guidance.

"This is your Father, Mair-baby." Hermione said, giving me a rare smile

"I'm pleased to meet you." I said. She frowned at my outstretched hand.

"Can I just hug you instead?"

"Yes, you may." My daughter put her arms around my neck and I held on to her tight, my arms almost going twice around her.

"Daddy, I would like to play hopscotch in the Great Hall. Albus made me a hopscotch thing. Will you play with me?" she asked, her eyes wide and innocent as she regarded me.

"Sure, baby." I said. I stood up from where I kneeled and picked up Mairwen who couldn't have weighed more than 45 pounds and tucked her under my arm. She laughed and giggled, kicking and swinging her little arms and legs as I took her to the Great Hall. I sat her down in front of the glowing blue court and she considered me, her hands on her hips.

"You can't play hopscotch in that big robe." She finally pronounced.

"All right." I said, shrugging out of my usual black frock coat.

"Do you know how to play?"

"Yes, I do."

zZzZzZzZzZz

October 28th: First Round of Aurors show up and set up camp in the Great Hall. What was once a place of happiness and fun is now a haven for the angry. Half of the hall has been set up like barracks, three levels of bunks in eight unit rows with sixteen rows. Almost four hundred people sleeping here. The other half is where we eat and plan. The tables double as workspace and there is always someone frantically scribbling or a unit leader talking or training their unit of Aurors.

Ginny, Lucius, Draco and Narcissa arrived. Most of the Order members have private rooms, seeing as though they are not used to barracks. Molly and Arthur, Remus and Tonks, Lucius and Narcissa and Hermione and Bill have set up in the 6th prefect's dormitories. Ginny is staying in Hermione's room and Draco is sleeping on my couch. Other Order members are scattered, Harry staying with Dumbledore and the Twins and their wives staying in the head boy and girl's rooms. The seven Slytherins are staying in the Slytherin Dormitory still. There are several children with us, Mairwen, Fred's daughter Violet, and Remus and Tonks' son Alex. They are under the care of Olivia and Marita, the merry wives of Weasley.

It seems as though my years of spying will finally come to fruition.


	14. Darkest Before the Dawn

October 30th dawned clear, cold and somber. Breakfast was a hushed affair. I evaded seeing anyone for most of the morning while putting the final touches on my final will and testament. Draco, Ginny, Narcissa and Lucius witnessed the document and in turn I stood witness to theirs. I'm sure that all around the castle people were doing the same. They all started out the same:

_I, Severus Raphael Snape, being of sound mind dedicate this last will and testament._

_I, Lucius Draco Malfoy, being of sound mind dedicate this last will and testament. _

_I, Lucius Alaric Malfoy, being of sound mind dedicate this last will and testament._

_I, Narcissa Rhiannon Malfoy, being of sound mind dedicate this last will and testament._

_I, Ginevra Elizabeth Weasley, being of sound mind dedicate this last will and testament. _

We parted ways, little conversation passing between us, Narcissa and Lucius to their bedroom, Draco to the library and Ginny to the bath. I was getting ready to walk about the grounds to clear my head when a sharp knock came on my door.

I opened it to reveal the face of Bill Weasley, "Yes?" I said.

"Look, you don't have to like me, but there are things that Hermione and I need to talk to you about before tomorrow. I might be dead by this time tomorrow and we need to make peace." He said, his broad tanned face open and pleading. I let the question brew in the open air before I spoke again.

"For Hermione." I said and nodded. I closed the door behind me and I followed. The younger man walked ahead of me for a moment and then decided to hang back.

"I want you to know that I'm sorry." He said, staring straight ahead.

"For what?"

"Marrying Hermione. She's never loved me, I don't think."

"Hermione Granger would not have married someone if she didn't want to."

"She's always loved you."

Our footsteps on the stone were the only sounds made for several long minutes before Bill continued, "Do you understand how painful it's been for five years for Mairwen to call me by my first name?"

"I'm sorry that had to happen to you." I choked out, not believing that I was giving condolences in any way, shape or form.

We continued in silence to the door of where they were staying. Hermione opened it at Bill's knock and I followed him inside. Bill went inside one of the bedrooms and Hermione and I were left alone.

There was a tea service set at the table and Hermione gestured for me to sit down. I did, taking a seat in the wingback chair in front of the coffee table.

"We brought you here because I completed my will." Hermione said.

"Did you?" I asked, "I completed mine as well just this morning."

"Since you know that Mairwen is your daughter, that's what I needed to talk to you about. I still haven't forgiven you for that disgusting interrogation." she winced, but her expression changed as Bill and our daughter came back through the door. I believe that Mairwen must have been napping because, now at 2pm, she was rubbing at her eyes and was wearing a set of pajamas.

"We wanted to know if you'd take care of Mairwen, in case something happens to us." Bill asked, "She is your daughter."

"Of course." I bit down sarcasm, knowing that now was the time to be tactful.

"We'll need you to sign this, please." Hermione held out several sheets of parchment for me and a quill.

I signed on the lines and ran the tip of my wand over the signatures. I returned them to Hermione. She took them and looked at me, biting her lip.

"Severus?" she asked, holding the documents in her lap, "Would you mind taking Mairwen for a walk around the lake or something for an hour or so? Bill and I need to get some things straight between us before tomorrow."

"Have you had lunch yet?" I asked Mairwen. She shook her head no, "Well, let's get you into some warmer clothes and we'll get some lunch. All right?"

"Ok." she smiled at me and gave a little giggle. She hopped down off the arm of the sofa and bounded energetically into the bedroom.

"She doesn't even realize what is going on, does she?" Hermione asked sadly.

"No, Hermione, she doesn't." Bill said, putting his hand on the back of her neck and shaking his head.

zZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

We were a funny pair walking around the grounds. Mairwen had complained of being cold so I took off my cloak and wrapped it around her small body. She was happily skipping along now, my cloak dragging the ground behind her.

"I want to do that." Mairwen said, pointing up to the sky where Tonks and Harry were flying about the perimeter of the grounds on broomsticks erecting more wards.

"You want to go flying?" I asked, "Have you ever been on a broom before?"

"Bill has taken me a few times. I really like flying. I would like my own broom when Mum thinks I'm old enough. She said when I was seven I could."

"Well all right. Let's go back to my room to get my broom, all right?"

"Ok!" she said happily, bouncing up and down. She took my larger hand in hers and started dragging me back towards the castle.

We would have returned out to the grounds sooner, but Mairwen insisted upon showing me that she could turn cartwheels all down the corridor in front of the Great Hall. When we got back out outside I had taken her to a courtyard. She wanted to carry the broom and my Firebolt's brush end was now dragging the ground as she pulled it along by the handle.

"All right, Mair, let's get you on there." Mairwen looked up at me, the goggles and armpads that I had taken from the equipment shed looking oversized and silly on her combined with my cloak. I commanded the broom up and held on to it with one hand as I mounted.

"Ooh! Me too!" Mairwen cried, her excitement bubbling over as she hopped up and down.

"On we go." I picked up my daughter under the arms and sat her gently in front of me. I pushed off and we started making laps around the lake, my reasoning was Mairwen was still getting used to flying with me and if we fell off it would be into the water and not the hard turf.

"Higher!" she commanded, laughing. I took us from about two feet from our dangling feet to the water to about five. "Higher!" she cried again, and I pulled up to fifteen feet in the air. Her shrieks and giggles made me smile and I held on just that much tighter. I took her into a loop-de-loop and her laughter and smiles rewarded me. Her cheeks were cold from the wind and her nose was slightly running.

"Let's get you down now." I said after at least half an hour.

"Aww, Daddy, I don't want to!"

_Daddy. She called me Daddy. Please pinch me because I think I'm dreaming. _

I was so filled with love for my daughter that I took three more laps around the castle before we did finally land.

zZzZzZzZzZzZz

"Severus?" Ginny's voice carried to me as I entered my chambers. She was lounging in front of the fire in one of the comfortable wingbacks.

"Good evening, Ginny." I said, shrugging off my frock coat and unbuttoning the top two buttons on my shirt.

"How are you?" She asked, biting her lip

"I'm doing as well as expected, I assume."

"I'm scared." she confessed, her eyes starting to water.

"I know, love. I know." I came to her and knelt with my head in her lap. "I'm scared too."

"Gods, Severus, for you to say you're frightened. This must be pretty bad."

"I'm not afraid of dying. The actual act of dying. I worry about my daughter." I said, confessing my fears to my best female friend in the world.

"I know. At least you have a daughter." she said, putting her hand out to stroke my hair.

"I'm sorry, Gin." I said, feeling her pants leg moisten from my tears.

"For what?"

"How I've dealt with my life." I said, "Why I even became a fucking Death Eater anyway."

"May I ask?"

"In the case of my death and you live, the memories are in my pensieve. I give you permission to find out then. But I can't talk about it now, I can't, Ginny."

"I understand." Her hand never stilled in it's caressing of my hair.

"Ginny, listen to me." I said, pulling my head up and looking into her eyes, "I'm so very proud of you. I just wanted you to know that, Ginny."

"Thank you. You've been the best friend a girl could ask for." She joined me on the floor and she put her arms around me, one hand on the back of my head, putting my head on her shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her in return and we kneeled there for a long time, voicing our fears with cries, whimpers and sobs of anguish.


	15. Struggle

Halloween for most is a time for festivity, costumes and candy. The muggle children in Edinburgh, Bristol or London were probably horribly excited this morning, Halloween had dawned clear and balmy.

I law awake in bed at nine, delaying my rising. Ginny slept gently next to me, her hair softly fluttering by her nose as she breathed. Neither of us had wanted to sleep alone, possibly for the last chance for either of us to sleep next to someone warm. Last time to cling to someone after a nightmare, which we were both sure to have. Innocent sleep, yes, but it felt good none-the-less. As I contemplated taking a vial of dreamless sleep and sleeping through the day, I heard the one voice that kept me from doing just that.

"Daddy! Are you here?"

I hurried out of bed and pulled on a grey quilted dressing gown. "How are you faring this morning, Missy?" I asked, coming out the door.

"Very well, thank you, Daddy." She giggled, eagerly accepting the hug I gave her. Her squeals increased when I picked her up and started spinning around.

"Oh, I'm dizzy." she said, dropping to the carpet

"Now what did you get dizzy for?" She laughed, "Would you like some breakfast, silly?"

"Mummy made me breakfast before she brought me here."

"And where would Mummy be now?"

"She's with Uncle Harry."

"Well, I'm going to make some breakfast. Would you like some raspberries and cream?"

"How did you know I loved raspberries and cream?" her eyes went wide as she gasped at me.

"I knew because they're my favorites." I said, winking at her. I picked her up when we got to the cabinet and she selected mugs for us. She gave me the blue one with the gold fleur de leis on it and kept the one with flying pigs on it that Albus had deemed amusing enough for my Christmas present. I poured orange juice into hers as requested and started the coffee maker. Mairwen was in charge of putting the raspberries in the bowls with cream (she did surprisingly well for a four and a half year old) and I scrambled four eggs and liberally melted cheddar cheese over them.

"I want some eggs too, please." Mairwen said, her fingers already stained red from the berries.

"Yes ma'am." I said, dishing her some extra on my plate. She scooted her chair a little closer to me so that she could spear the food properly. The coffee maker dinged saying that it was finished brewing and I got up to fill my mug. I looked over towards the bedroom as I filled the cup and saw Ginny leaning against the doorway with a smile on her face.

"Pour me a cup?" she asked, moving from the door.

"Gladly. How long have you been there?" I asked once she got next to me.

"Long enough." she smiled and took her cup to sit down.

"Hello." Mairwen said shyly, "I'm Mairwen."

"Pleased to meet you, Mairwen. I'm Ginny."

"You look an awful lot like Granny Molly, only prettier." she said, scrunching up her nose and cocking her head to look at her again.

"Granny Molly is my mother." Ginny said

"Oh, that's why then." Mairwen laughed and pushed her hair out of her face again.

"Does you hair get in your way a lot?" Ginny asked

"Tons and tons, especially when I'm eating."

"My hair is real long too, would you like me to pull it back like I do?"

Mairwen nodded enthusiastically as Ginny got up from her seat and started plaiting my daughter's hair. When she was finished, Mairwen got up and showed me what Ginny had done, although I had been right there when it had happened. Ginny smiled and started partaking of the eggs. Ginny and I took turns getting showered and dressed. I went second and when I came back Ginny and Mairwen were doing some kind of strange dance that I know to be called the Charleston.

"Ginny taught me!" she said animatedly.

"Very nice." I glanced at the clock. One pm.

As if on cue, the pain in my forearm flared sharply. I put my right hand over the mark and hissed my pain.

"Daddy?" Mairwen asked, looking frightened.

"Ginny, go tell Dumbledore. Make sure Mairwen is safe, please!" I pleaded Ginny although I knew I didn't have to.

"I love you, Sev, even if it's just as my friend. Please be safe, please." Ginny and I embraced and I smelled her hair, inhaling the smell of my shampoo mixed with her own scent.

"I love you too, Ginevra. I'll be safe." I promised. I kneeled, looking into the eyes of my daughter next.

"I love you, Mairwen." I said, putting a hand to her cheek.

"I love you too, Daddy." she said, confused.

"I'll be back in a little while. Ginny's going to take you to Uncle Albus. Be a good girl, all right?" I said.

"OK." They left, Mairwen atop Ginny's back as I knew that they'd be running at full tilt soon. Mairwen's little legs couldn't have even tried to keep up with Ginny.

I looked around the empty room and the next moment I had flooed away.

zZzZzZzZzZzZz

I stepped from the fire and kneeled immediately.

"Come on, Severus, we don't have time for that! Master wants to see all of us now outside!" Bellatrix called to me, rushing through the room. Georgina Vance flooed very soon after me and I relayed the message. Our masks were secured and I sought out Hermione in the crowd of gatherers. She stood at Voldemort's left, her mask off. Voldemort beckoned me forward and motioned me to his right.

I had succeeded. I was Voldemort's right hand man. We were going to win.

"All are present." Pettigrew simpered from his place sitting at Voldemort's feet.

"Good." he said, "Severus, call attention."

"Your attention please." chatter died down, "Thank you."

"I want you to listen to me closely." Voldemort began, "I stand before you as your master and I command your attention. We are here for a reason. Our reason is purity. Our reason is honor. Our reason is to obliterate all things that taint what we strive for. We are more than that muggle mudbood filth and everything that goes with it! It is our job to ensure that the world is not sullied by this disgusting body!"

There were shouts from the crowd, but Hermione, Voldemort and I remained silent.

"There is some business to attend to before we make our journey though." he began, "One of you has betrayed me."

A hush fell over the crowd. I felt the blood fall from my face, but I schooled my expressions to a face of calm. The suspense wore on moment after moment and I knew that I was surely about to die.

"_Expelliamus!_" he shouted, turning his back to me. I was momentarily relieved, until I realized who was beside me.

Hermione.

"Don't even try to move." his voice was low and lethal. He turned back to the crowd. "It seems we have a spy in our midst. She's a clever little bitch, I'll give her that. Fooled Severus and nearly fooled me."

Don't step forward, don't do anything.

"I won't kill her, I need to save my strength for the Potter boy. But I know someone who's probably itching to do it right now." He turned on me.

_Her eyes, flashing in the sunlight_

Not me, anyone but me.

_Smoothing my hair from my brow. _

"Severus. Do us the honors."

"_I love you, Severus."_


	16. Loss

I had very little choice. It was fight or flight and I wasn't going down without Hermione.

Albus. I bloody love Albus. Never in my years as a spy have I ever had to use this. Albus' precautionary device now was getting it's use. Top button on the rich wool of the cloak to me to somewhere safe. Where it will lead us, I don't know.

Now or never.

I circled Hermione as she was my prey. This had to be convincing.

"May I violate her?" I made my voice eager.

"By all means." Voldemort gave his consent. "Kill her with her own wand. Make her rue the day she bought it."

Hermione did not even whimper. She was facing her death bravely on the outside. She stood still as a wall when I approached her and pulled the hair back from her neck. I insinuated my lips next to her ear on pretext of biting it.

"You're safe." I muttered. Her demeanor did not change. Good job, Hermione.

I kissed her, hard on the lips, my hand coming to the lapel of her cloak. My other hand twined in her hair to jerk her head back so that I could get my mouth close enough to the button to whisper the password without them hearing. She let out a shriek of pain, but it was less that the _crucio_ we would be getting.

"Lemon drop."

zZzZzZzZzZzZz

"Hermione!" I screamed, holding her close as we came back to earth. The tugging on my navel had left me nauseous and shaking, but the need to affirm that she was with me was greater.

"I'm here! Gods, Thank you! Thank you, Severus!" Hermione clung to me, both of us shaking and clutching each other in our relief and joy to be alive.

We looked around us after several moments. The Shrieking Shack.

"We have to hurry, Hermione. We have to get back to Hogwart's before he does." I pulled her up and off of her feet, wrenching her over to the fireplace. I handed Hermione her wand, which she gratefully accepted.

"_Incendio!_" The fire was lit. Hermione threw in the powder.

"Dumbledore's Office!" we cried, stepping into the flames. We landed with a thump, sprawling over the carpet.

"Severus!" Lucius was up from the chair he occupied in seconds. Albus, Harry and Remus were on their feet as well.

"Are you all right?" Dumbledore looked strange. Today there were no bright colors. Dumbledore merely dressed in total white.

"We're fine, thanks to Severus." Hermione said from over Harry's shoulder where she was currently being embraced.

"You put a portkey into my cloak more than a decade ago Albus, and today it saved our lives." I said. The old man swept me up in a hug, emotion showing evident in his eyes.

"If you would have died it would have been like loosing a son to me." he said.

We were not allowed to continue the sentimentality for long. Fawkes let out the most beautiful song I've heard in ages and flew to his perch from the window. He nodded toward the window and several pearly tears collected in the bottom of his cage. He whistled and we took it as a sign to take the tears. We each held on tear around our necks in tiny vials.

The end had come.

zZzZzZzZzZzZz

From my perch at the top of the east tower I saw them come in. The Death Eaters and Voldemort had apparated to Hogsmeade and were marching on Hogwarts. Droves and droves swarmed in like insects, their noise we heard from a thousand yards

"Ready?" Draco asked me, his wand at the ready. We were to make the first strike.

"Ready." Levatation spells were cast by myself, Draco and five others, on the huge cauldrons of _cruiciatus _potion. At once seven cauldrons filled with the vile liquid shot the required thousand yards. Almost twenty people were covered at once, and their inhuman screams made us cringe.

The sign we were waiting for came fast. The dark mark appeared quickly in the sky and just as quickly a phoenix was shot up as well. The rally cries from both sides were heard as our first wave of aurors charged. They met not so much with the crash of swords, but the rush and whirr of light and shouted spells. We continued sending out blood boiling hex potion and flesh eating salve in droves, as fast as it could be brought up.

Numbers were dwindling. The death eaters sent in a second wave five minutes before the aurors were replenished.

The next sign was our sign. The lightning bolt flashed up into the sky, brutally cutting through the dark mar.

Draco turned to collect his broom to fly down like a valkyrie while I simply jumped from the tower, changing into my animagus form, an eagle, as I plummeted. I landed next to Ginny as she came to a halt from sprinting out from the castle. I shivered into my own shape as Draco landed to the other side of Ginny. Lucius took his place next to me. Bill and Hermione stood together near by.

"I'm ready." Harry said, patting the dagger strapped to his thigh.

We assembled around him, Draco, Albus, Remus and Moody in the front, Lucius, Hermione, Tonks and I behind them. The others fell into place around and several behind him.

"Stay together!" Albus was shouting orders to the ranks. "Now!"

We took off at a full sprint, directly toward the death eaters.

Curses were whirled ever which way, most I was able to shield myself from but a slicing hex hit my shoulder. It was a minor wound and the man that inflicted it upon me would soon be dead. Avada Kedavra expended too much energy for it to be used; therefore more mild curses were being used, equally lethal none the less.

"_Sectumsempra!" _ A curse was hurled towards our group. What I saw then will etch itself into my memory for eternity.

Hermione broke ranks, breaking back and to her right to her husband. The shield spell that she was in the process of crying fell short of completion and the horrid hex made a wide, curving red smile across her throat. At first she looked all right, albeit stunned. Then the red line blossomed forth with blood, crimson against her pale throat.

"Hermione!"

"_Stop that infernal hand waving, Miss Granger!" _

She sank to the ground, hands clutching her throat. In the same moment, her husband was hit with a blood boiling hex. He was on the ground next to her, writhing in pain.

"_I'm pregnant." _

I moved to pour the phoenix tears onto her body but I was knocked into by someone. The vial was in my hand as I fell forward. The thin glass shattered in my hand, coating my palm with the tears.

"_Make love to me, Severus._"

I scrambled for Bill's vial, knowing that the dead man wouldn't be using his. Hermione made a strangled noise and looked up into my eyes. She was wide eyed and innocent and she moved me with one look belaying her every wish.

Go on.

She smiled with a grace that was so inhuman that it was never given to anyone in life. She lay her head down softly, knowing that she would never open her eyes again.

I took the tears from her neck, wishing that I could have been able to help.

Go on.

"_I need you. Oh, Severus, I've missed you so much. You were right, you are always right…"_

I moved, slipping the wedding band from her finger as well. Hermione's death left me powerful, ready for revenge.

Six _Avada Kedavra _curses later I realized that Harry was circling with Voldemort. Their wands poised at the ready.

A collective cry of spells rose from their lips as the wands dueled.

"Today you will die. The day that you should have died so long ago." Voldemort said, brandishing his wand menacingly.

"Recognize this?" Harry asked maliciously, unsheathing the blade from around his thigh.

Voldemort had no chance to react. Harry drove the blade of the dagger straight into his chest and buried it to the hilt. Voldemort laughed, thinking that Harry had just tried to best him with a simple wound.

"I'm an immortal spirit, fool. This will not kill me!"

Harry's voice started chanting, the ancient spell changing the tone and pitch of his voice.

"_De l'âme à l'âme je te lie_

_De l'âme à l'âme je te conquiers_

_De mon âme à votre âme_

_La magie coule librement_

_De l'âme à l'âme a laissé les mots te complètent_

_De l'âme à l'âme la corvée de poignard te_

_Voler le poignard rapide et doux_

_Et pardonner mon âme à te_

_Tu lier l'essence à ta lame_

_Et garder pour toujours_

_De mon âme à votre âme je te conquiers"_

White light surrounded the men, whirling as a vortex. Dirt, grass and plants were uprooted in this current of wind and magic.

When the smoke and debris cleared, it was obvious that both master and slave were dead. The dagger was now embedded into a mere skeleton, glistening with greet and black light.

I was not able to celebrate or mourn the loss of Harry Potter, for the skin on my arm started to burn moments after I witnessed the bodies. I tore my sleeve back and watched as my skin began to boil and bubble frantically. I screamed, pressing my hand to the wound. The pain was quickly gone though. I wondered why as I looked around the field where death eaters were crumbling, the flesh boiling off their bodies starting with the arm and radiating outward. I looked down at my arm.

No mark was in sight. Not even a grey reminder of what was once there. I was free. Somehow, I don't know how, I was free.

I stood and started running, frantically searching for Hermione's body. When cleanup efforts began Neville and his crew of medics had to bodily remove me from around her body.

I realize today why I was there.

I wanted to show here that I was a clear man. That I was free. And to extract the promise from her that she's be with me again, now that we were all free.

As they pulled me away and before they sedated me I remember screaming for Hermione, knowing that somewhere she knew that I was a free man.

zZzZzZzZzZz

A/N: I'm sorry. It had to be that way. War is that way. Please be kind in your reviews. Just a chapter to go and an epologue!

Translation of the incantation:

From soul to soul I bind thee

From soul to soul I conquer thee

From my soul to your soul

The magic flows freely

From soul to soul let the words complete thee

From soul to soul the dagger binds thee

Fly swift, sweet dagger

And forgive my soul to thee

Bind thou essence to thine blade

And keep forevermore

From my soul to your soul I conquer thee


	17. And To Dust You Shall Return

I awoke in the wee hours of the morning in the hospital wing. I peeked at the clock and realized that it was a little after dawn. I took a drink of water from the glass by my bed. I was under a sheet but I was still wearing the clothes I wore before. The blasted Death Eater robe still hung over the chair next to me where someone must have put it. I moved my way from the bed, leaving the cloak. I made it all the way to the door to my chambers before I remembered.

Hermione.

I shook me head, clearing it. There was much to be done. I caught a glimpse of Ginny's half read book still on the sofa. Was she alive? Lucius? Draco? Albus? I broke into a run, sprinting towards the Great Hall. I skidded to a stop, flinging open the oak doors. Breakfast was already being served at a quarter past six. My eyes scanned the crowd already gathered. The people weren't sitting at the tables like they had yesterday on the living half of the barrack. I saw that no one was in the beds. In their place were sofas, chairs and warm blankets. Breakfast pastries and beverages were placed on tables scattered throughout the hall. There was no one there this early that I wanted to see. Ginny walked through the door opposite of where I stood. We made our way to each other at a run and she sagged into my arms. I held her close to my chest as she sobbed tears of relief. I closed my eyes and held on to her all the more tightly.

"I've been working all night, clearing and tagging bodies. There are just so many."

"Thank the Gods you're alive." I said, murmuring into her hair that was unwashed and clinging to her scalp.

"So many are missing." she said, breaking from my embrace. She pulled me towards the wall where huge parchments were handing. The names were in two columns: missing and dead. Names were slowing disappearing from the missing list. Some names reappeared on the lead list. There were so many on the list. Five Weasleys, they'd taken the worst toll: Charlie, Bill, Arthur, Hermione and George. Fleur Delacour, Hagrid, Professor Flitwick, Mad Eye Moody and Tonks were some of the worst losses from our front line.

"Narcissa." I said, reading over the missing list that was dwindling. As I spoke, her name disappeared from the list. Ginny and I waited with baited breath. Moments later it glowed red as it appeared on the death list.

"I have to tell Lucius. Come with me, please, Severus. He's in the 6th year's prefect dormitories. I gave him some dreamless sleep yesterday. He was mad with grief over Narcissa."

"Where's Draco?" I asked, fear creeping into my voice.

"Draco's gone. He fled yesterday after the battle. Dumbledore's put a tracking charm on him. He's gone to the hunting lodge in Oxford." she said. I followed her, going to tell my best friend that his beloved wife was found dead.

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Funerals started that evening. I didn't attend any of them though. The only ones that I'd be attending were the next afternoon. Hermione's first at noon and Narcissa's at dusk.

After I left Ginny with Lucius I went in search of my daughter. I found her playing with Violet Weasley and Alex Lupin. Marita was with them, Olivia already with a lawyer taking care of her husband's will. After a quick visit with her I met up with Lucius who seemed to be doing a little better, although somber still and Elinor Light to discuss with Albus why we were not dead with the rest of the Death Eaters. I continually checked my forearm, the expanse of pale, unmarred skin surprising me every time.

It was still a mystery when we left. Albus fed us some rot about our intention being good. Death Eaters died because they were evil. We were the face of good in the adversity of evil. For some reason, I was inclined to believe the rot. If Harry Potter had been saved by a Mother's love what would stop us from being saved by our intentions?

Wills were being read and executed non-stop all over the castle. I was informed that Hermione had left everything to Mairwen and Bill had also left a goodly sum. The monies were transferred post haste to a new Gringott's account. The money would collect interest for a number of years and I planned on making her aware of it when she graduated Hogwart's. She would have a very nice nest egg of her own.

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The rest of the day passed in relative ease, although my heart was sore. My daughter had come to stay with me that afternoon at about four. Mairwen could not understand that her mother had died yet; she was only four and a half. I knew that it would make her (and I) feel better if I just pretended that it had not happened. Denial is an essential part of the grieving process just the same. We spent some time talking, she informed me of some of the things she liked and was very vocal about the things she did not like. Dinner was made by the two of us (she wanted pancakes, she got pancakes) and we enjoyed some story time by the fire before I tucked her into her mother's bed.

I awoke at ten when Mairwen came and jumped on my bed.

"Daddy. Wakey uppy." she sing-songed

"Daddy's awake." I said, grabbing her by the middle and tickling her. Mornings like this I could get used to.

"I want to go see Mummy today." she declared. My face fell. It was time to tell my daughter that her Mummy would not be coming back.

"You can't see Mummy anymore, baby."

"Well then, where has she gone?"

"Mummy and Bill went to heaven."

"Oh, that sounds nice! Granny Molly told me all about Heaven a little while ago. She said it was good there. And everyone was happy there. When do I get to go?"

"Not for a very long time, hopefully." I said. Mairwen looked crestfallen.

"But think about it, baby, it's so nice there that you have it to look forward to for a long time."

"And Mummy and Bill are there?" she asked, slightly skeptically.

"Yes ma'am." I said.

"And I can't see them anymore."

"Yes."

"Did they want to go?"

"Everyone wants to go to heaven, but they didn't want to go right now. They wanted to spend more time with you."

"So I can't see them anymore but they didn't want to leave me?"

"Exactly."

"I'm going to miss Mummy." she sighed, "But I guess that if she didn't mean to then I think it's all right."

"Today there's a little ceremony to say goodbye to Mummy. If you would like to go I can take you. We're sad that she left us early, but we're really happy that she's in a good place now."

"That sounds like a nice thing to do." she said, considering, "I think I want to go."

"All right then, missy." I said, starting to get out of bed. I picked up my daughter and we went out into the main room, "We need to go to Granny Molly's house to pick out something for you to wear then. We have just two hours."

"How am I supposed to get my hair right in just two hours? You're going to have to braid it for me like Mummy used to." she said, her fists on her hips.

"How about we ask Ginny if she'll do it?"

"Ok, but you're going to have to learn how, all right?"

"All right. Let me get Ginny, she'll know what you're supposed to wear."

A quick floo call to Ginny brought her to my rooms. She decided, after looking through her luggage, that Mairwen had a suitable dress, after some alterations. A rapid lesson in braiding left her hair in two neat plaits.

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"I come not to praise Hermione Weasley, but to bury her." Albus said, taking words from Shakespeare, "She was our friend, our confidant, our mother and our wife. She was deeply loved and she loved deeply and fully. But grief is the price we play for loving. She was born Hermione Jane Granger on September 19 to Thomas and Janet Granger, two muggles from London. She joins in death her husband, Bill Weasley. She leaves us a most precious legacy, her daughter, Mairwen Elizabeth Snape. We are mourning other friends and family so no farewell words shall be spoken, she was gone before we knew it and there was no time to say goodbye. I will ask Molly Weasley to say a few words, please."

It was warm out by the lake. Hermione was being buried alongside Bill. The large tree that had blossomed over Bill's grave was an oak tree. Hermione's tree was to be a curly willow. Mairwen chose the tree because she thought it sounded pretty.

Molly made her way to the front of the assembled. There were tears in her eyes as she spoke, "If love could have saved Hermione, she would have lived forever. Hermione was my daughter, there was no in-law about it. Her parents died when she was 15 and from then on I made sure to take special care of her. She was intelligent, almost scary smart sometimes. But she loved her family and she loved life. I only wish that this war didn't have to happen." Molly lost it then and had to be helped back to her seat by Albus.

"Thank you, Molly." He said as he came back to stand by her casket, "We will miss her dearly, but her spirit still rests among us. From dust we begun from dust we shall return. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Rest in peace, Hermione."

The tree flew up under Albus' ministrations, the twisted trunk carved with her name, birth and death dates, and the words, 'The Journey is the Reward'.

It was time to say goodbye. A gentle breeze flowed by and I knew it was not Hermione's spirit on it, but a reminder to live in the now, a jar back to life and to what was in it. My daughter.


	18. Finite Incantatem

_Thirteen Years later_

_September 1_

"She's my daughter! She'll be in Slytherin." Lucius said, debating with his son.

"Are you kidding me? Rhiannon? She's a Gryffindor through and through." Draco countered, leaning against Ginny.

"Lucius, she can be in any house she wants to be." Ginny said, putting a placating hand on her husband's arm, "Although, she would make a great Gryffindor."

Ginny and Lucius Malfoy were dressed as differently as they could be, Ginny in a set of exquisite burgundy red robes and Lucius in subtle black and green. In the months following Narcissa's death, Ginny and Lucius grew closer. Draco came home after two weeks of solitude at the hunting lodge with an eye patch. Apparently he had lost his right eye in the battle. It was tended to, but the eye would never grow back. He was left with a roguish black eye patch. The little family grew closer. Two years after Narcissa's passing, Lucius and Ginny decided that they were going to give it a whirl. Courtship progressed nicely and the next year they bore a daughter, Rhiannon.

"They've been debating this since the day she was born." Draco whispered to me, referring to the bright sunny day in June when Ginny bore their first daughter. I laughed. We stood against the far wall with the other wizarding parents, watching our children get sorted, an institution started by me seven years ago when Mairwen was sorted and I was no longer the potion's master. Mairwen was sorted Ravenclaw and I couldn't be prouder. She was head girl this year, with wonderful school work coming home every year.

"What do you think he'll do if she's sorted Gryffindor?" she asked me, leaning over and giggling.

"Rhiannon will be a Slytherin." Alaric said, pulling on Ginny's hem. The nine-year old had inherited Ginny's hair and gangly body type, but his demeanor was Lucius personified.

"You think?" Draco asked, eyeing his half-brother skeptically. He reached over his head and chuckled the chin of Helene, Ginny and Lucius' surprise baby that was residing in a sling across Ginny's abdomen. The four month old giggled and blew a spit bubble his way.

The A's through the L's went painfully slow. Soon Rhiannon Malfoy's name was called and she walked slowly to the stool, chewing at her bottom lip. She nervously tossed her bob of white blonde hair as she sat down. Her face grew red as people started looking at her with anticipation. She spied her brother and sister in the back and gave them a smile before the hat covered her entire head.

Several moments passed before the hat proclaimed:

_GRYFFINDOR!_

Rhiannon smiled widely and scampered off to the Gryffindor table where she was welcomed politely and people scooted over to allow the new first year room to sit down.

Lucius handed over a sack of galleons to his wife.

N-Z went slowly, partly due to the fact that I was looking forward to my daughter's speech.

"Now, if I may have your attention," Minerva said, hushing the audience, "Head Boy Lucas Watts and Head Girl Mairwen Snape would like to share some words with you."

Head boy went first, his speech tolerable, but probably not as good as Mairwen's would be. It was only about five minutes long and the moments crawled by.

"Students, Staff and Parents, I'd like to welcome you back to Hogwarts, and for those of you here for the first time, I hope you return many times. I want to speak to you tonight about politics. I know that this seems trivial at a time like this, where we are at peace, but I want to impart some wisdom on you that my father told me once, long ago. He told me that the war with Voldemort was over, but the war against evil would never be over. He reminded me to be vigilant to the Dark Arts that could be around me. I want all of you to remember that here at Hogwarts the Dark Lord was bred. I want to remind you to be kind to each other, to help one another out. Through kindness to each other can we prevent someone like that from wanting to upset our peaceful world.

I anticipate that politics will forever reign, whether it be Ministry against The Order of the Phoenix or just Gryffindor against Slytherin. I caution you against this, my fellow students. Great things can come from other houses. Here I am, a Ravenclaw, progeny of a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. Please remember that we are all just children, and worthy of respect from our peers. I understand that these traditions have been in place longer than I could imagine, but I want to make a new tradition, here, today. Let's make a tradition of respect. Let's make a tradition of making sure that no one is left out. Let's make a tradition of inter-house friendships. I will ask you to not stray away from that odd-ball out. Because that odd ball just might be the next dark force. We can combat the dark arts not only though our classes, but through kindness, because none of us are well trained enough yet to really take on the dark arts.

It is with great pleasure and extreme enthusiasm that I welcome the new first years, returning students, parents, faculty and staff to a fresh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

Applause abounded and a few other announcements were made. Dinner was served shortly and most students dined with their parents, or their friend's parents.

"Hello there, Miss Snape." I said, hugging my daughter.

"Hello, Daddy." she said, squeezing me tight, popping a vertebrae in my back.

"You're getting too strong." I said, "And too tall."

"Am not. You're just shrinking." she said, laughing.

"My congratulations on a magnificent speech." I said, pulling out the chair for my daughter. We sat and ate a delicious meal amid general conversation. I looked at my daughter, seeing so much of Hermione in her.

Mairwen was taller than Hermione ever could have hoped to be, coming up to my chin and I wasn't a short man. She inherited my stick straight black hair, but thankfully she wasn't interested in potions besides getting above average marks in it. The greasiness would be low for her, I hoped. Her face was Hermione's all over again, aside from the shade of her eyes. Petite nose, large eyes, heart shaped face; they were all Hermione's. She was pretty, but not in a traditional way. This meant that she was just now growing out of an awkward phase.

My life was complete. Mairwen and I lived on the outskirts of London in a nice cottage. We integrated a lot of muggle technology into our lives, at her insistence. I owned a car and a computer and a microwave. Mairwen was very happy about the car that she had selected for me. I resigned the potion master's position just after the Battle at Hogwarts (as historians are calling it) and started doing research with St Mungo's. Since then the Wolfsbane potion had started being mass produced and a _Cruciatus _counter-potion had been started. It was still in the works. I was single, but happy with just Mairwen and I. There were frequent visits with the Malfoys and others. My life was feeling just right.

"Dad, I'd like you to meet Adrian O'Connor." A tall boy with a shock of curly brown hair extended his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, sir." he said confidently. I did take his hand to shake.

"I'm shaking your hand because my daughter is sitting right next to me. I would not have if she wasn't. I don't like you. I don't like you because you are a man and I know what it's like to be a man. Hurt my daughter and you will answer to Severus Snape."

Fin.

A/N: My dear Lord. Thank you to everyone that has been with me along the way! Another thank you goes to my bouncing buddy/beta, Inness! Thanks for the ride, it's been fun.


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